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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729407">To Look and Be Seen</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princessfbi/pseuds/Princessfbi'>Princessfbi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure, Briefly Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Diaz Hugs Cure All, Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Found Family, Insecure Evan "Buck" Buckley, Jealous Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Firefam, Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Team as Family, Trust Issues, buckley siblings feels, rwrb inspired</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:28:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princessfbi/pseuds/Princessfbi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Your Royal Highness,” Eddie said in return with a short bob of his head.</i><br/> <br/><i>He was the President’s Secret Service, he didn’t have to bow.</i></p><p>  <i>“Please,” the prince said with a charming smile that probably got him into more trouble than it was worth. “Everyone calls me Buck.”<i></i></i></p><p> </p><p>  <i><br/><i>When President Nash’s godson comes to stay for a few weeks, Bobby asks for Eddie Diaz personally to head up his protection detail. What’s a few weeks with a spoiled prince? But Eddie quickly realizes that this isn’t just a flying visit and he’s determined to protect Buck from whatever has chased him back into his family’s arms.  </i><br/></i></p><p>  <i><br/><i>Prince!Buck Bodyguard!Eddie</i><br/></i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Grace Ryder/Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>390</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Before</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>                                        </p><p>President Robert ‘Bobby’ Nash was a conundrum of statistics and facts that no other standing American president had ever/would ever have written about them in the history books. He’d been a fire captain turned city mayor turned senator turned president all before the age of fifty. He had a documented history of civil service and public sacrifice a mile long that would put most saints to shame. He was the first president with an interracial marriage and didn’t tote it around like it was some ground breaking news. He’d faced three major disasters--- a plane crash, a massive earthquake, and a tsunami--- all in his first term and brought the American people back to their feet with stable ground beneath them. He was also an openly recovering alcoholic; a fact that nearly cost him the election when his anonymity was ripped away by a careless staffer who worked on his opponent’s campaign.</p><p>To be honest, the only thing that had probably saved him had been the fact that Gerrard had taken a moment too long to fire those responsible for the smear campaign and the public thought the move had been dirty and underhanded. Athena, though, often quelled those doubts by reminding him that his speech in response to the exposure had made him more open and honest in a way he hadn’t felt in a while and the American people had felt that in return.</p><p>The millions of views of the speech on Youtube probably helped too.</p><p>But Bobby was also a godfather to a foreign prince; the first president to ever claim such a title. </p><p>It’d been all over the news for months. Bobby had been a senator at the time, in the capital for a state dinner where royalty from all over were coming to visit in celebration of the birth of President Strand’s first and only son. Duchess Amelia had been far too pregnant to be walking around in heels all night and had taken a moment to step away from all the excitement when her water broke. A frightening moment for a woman her age and the baby still too many weeks away from what would’ve been a comfortable due date.</p><p>Bobby, in a tuxedo rather than a fire department uniform, flew in like he'd been on duty yesterday.</p><p>The press couldn’t get enough of the no name senator who had saved both mother and baby which led to a rare break from protocol from the royal family. God parentage was usually reserved for distant relations or neighboring royalty. But Bobby Nash from the cold Midwest had been summoned to the christening where he was given the honor of being the baby’s godfather and it was an honor he took very seriously.</p><p>Bobby loved the kid like he was his own and after the duke and duchess had passed away in a car crash, he’d broken down every barrier put in place to make sure he was there when he was needed.</p><p>Prince Evan was always a favorite for the press whenever they got bored, something which the prince made easy with how stupid he could be sometimes. But Bobby loved him and he was fiercely protective of their relationship.</p><p>Which is why Eddie had no idea why Bobby decided that <em>he </em>would be the best person to act as the prince’s personal bodyguard while he visited the states.</p><p>“With all due respect, sir,” Eddie said after a few moments of open mouth gapping. “I’m not sure I’m the best man for the job.”</p><p>“I have to disagree with you, Eddie,” Bobby said in that calm way he always spoke whenever he was trying a little too hard to not give away his amusement. “I think you would be the perfect person for the job.”</p><p>“Sir---”</p><p>Bobby splayed his hands in front of him. “Look, Eddie, I’m going to be honest with you here. My godson can be a bit of a handful, I know, but you’re the best agent for the job. You’ll interest him so he won’t get bored and try to run off.”</p><p>Athena snorted but kept quiet all the same.</p><p>Eddie didn't even know what that meant. From what little he knew about the prince, he seriously doubted that he, a nameless Secret Service agent, would be found <em>anywhere</em> on the list of interesting things for the prince. The last thing he'd expected when he'd been called into the President's private office in the Residence was to be asked to head a protection detail for Bobby's own godson. Visiting royalty usually had their own PPOs that were just as much of a pain to work with as their charges. The prince had his own unit of guards for God's sake! </p><p>“And you’re the one person I trust that will be able to look out for him.” Bobby added.</p><p>“What he means to say, Eddie, is that he’s sorry in advance for making you babysit.” Athena’s smile was good humored but weighted. “Buck’s got a good head on his shoulders but that boy can use that brain for evil sometimes.”</p><p>“I think this’ll be a little different.” Bobby grimaced. “He’s… had a rough go of it these last couple of years and this past summer was a lot. He’s coming here to escape more than anything.”</p><p>To hide, he didn't say.</p><p>Every tabloid would have a field day if they knew that. Bobby seemed to realize that as well because he grabbed Athena’s hand and squeezed it in his own, his wife leaning against his shoulder.</p><p>“It’ll only be for six weeks and then he goes back for his sister’s coronation,” Bobby said.</p><p>“Who knows, you may have some fun, for once.”</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes but only because they were in private and Athena was always telling him he needed to loosen up. But Eddie also recognized the unspoken words in the room.</p><p>This was important to Bobby. Something had him worried and Bobby had a way of slipping into a level of genuine sincerity that could knock you out at the knees. Eddie had worked with a couple of politicians and officials and blow hards that had a good smile and could give a good speech but wouldn't know authenticity if it smacked them in the face. Without fail, he was still blown away every time with Bobby. He didn’t place significance for its weightiness. He did it when it mattered.</p><p>This mattered.</p><p>“It’d be an honor, sir,” Eddie said finally and turned on his heel when Bobby nodded his dismissal.</p><p>Bobby watched as Eddie disappeared and relaxed into the warm weight of his wife’s hands as she massaged out the day’s stress from his muscles.</p><p>“Did I just make a big mistake?”</p><p>“Nah,” Athena said quietly, her breath hot on his skin as she kissed his cheek. “They’ll be good for each other. They’ll get on like water and oil.”</p><hr/><p>So, Eddie researched. And researched and researched and researched. He dove into the dark recess of the internet and saw things he didn’t need to see. He wasn’t usually on protection detail for a reason. Sure, every agent was ready to step in the way of a bullet at a moment's notice but to be a head protection agent was an entirely different ball game. You were a companion. Most head agents knew more about their charges than their own significant others. You got them where they needed to go and stood by their side and ate pizza with them when they didn't want to go home yet. It was an intense level of trust that was supposed to be an honor.</p><p>It <em>was </em>an honor.</p><p>Bobby didn't place his trust lightly. He cared for a lot, sure, but Eddie could count on his hand the number of people that were truly important to him. The kind of importance where there was a protocol in place if the President ever tried to do something stupid like throwing himself in front of a bullet rather than letting the agents in charge take care of it. </p><p>But Eddie's strengths was in reading body language and <em>anticipating.</em> Threat assessment. His job was to watch and assess and trust that his fellow agents would do their job correctly when it came down to it. He spotted the problem before it became a danger.</p><p>Which was why he was having such a hard time keeping his judgement from his notes.</p><p>The prince was a problem that had the potential to be a danger and it went against all his instincts to not tackle it into the ground. There were too many variables that were still unknown. He didn't know why the prince was planning to hide out at the White House, a very secure building in a completely different country from his own. He didn't know what happened to cause the prince to come running--- he'd only been assured by his superiors that it was nothing life threatening and that no one was chasing after him to look out for--- which was still tugging at the back of Eddie's brain. All he knew about his new charge was what he saw in the gossip magazines and the very brief, slim dossier he’d been given.</p><p><strong>Age</strong>: 26</p><p><strong>Hair:</strong> Dirty blonde</p><p><strong>Eyes:</strong> Blue</p><p><strong>Identifying markers</strong>: Red birth mark over left eye; tattoo on left forearm [text]; tattoo on left bicep [Saturn]; tattoo on right arm [two bands]; tattoo on right bicep [skull]; tattoo on chest [symbol]; tattoo on abdomen [head]; tattoo on shoulder [script]</p><p><strong>Allergies:</strong> Strawberries</p><p><strong>Medical conditions:</strong> <strike>Being a pain in the ass</strike></p><p>That part had been marked out and but he could still see the distinctive scrawl of Chimney’s handwriting.</p><p>From the pattern of media attention, he also knew that the prince spent a good chunk of time staining his reputation over actually protecting it. He was with someone new what seemed like every week and had a long history of exes that ranged from mindless hook ups to being on a very top secret list of people who may attempt assassination (the names of which Eddie had already memorized). He had a habit of sneaking out of the palace and stealing security cars for joyrides that had local police in a complete frenzy. He was reckless, arrogant, blasé about anything and everything and---</p><p>Six weeks.</p><p>Six weeks. He could do six weeks. He could do six weeks of babysitting a spoiled, troublemaking, prince with a disregard for all chains of authority.</p><p>Six weeks that Eddie had to keep him alive and in line and then he could get back to being on a team.</p><p>He could do that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Week One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The arrival of the prince should’ve clued Eddie in on how his next six weeks were going to go.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The arrival of the prince should’ve clued Eddie in on how his next six weeks were going to go.</p><p>Bobby and Athena were already dressed in their casual clothes of light sweaters and jeans as the early autumn Washington air started to add a crisp edge to the breeze. Christopher had grumbled when Eddie had sent him to school with a sweater. Sure, the sweater was going to be dumped in the mud and trampled by at least three sets of shoes by recess when the outside playing and the sun made everything too hot but whatever.</p><p>Perks of being a dad meant he got to make the sweater rules.</p><p>A damp sweat had settled into the collar of his suit for an entirely different reason. Today was the day. Bobby and Athena had been able clear their schedules in a rare combination of coincidence and carefully crafted planning to have the morning off. Though the excitement was palpable, the worry that had settled on the first couple's shoulders was like heavy molasses in the air. Again, Eddie was starting to feel the claws of curiosity dig into his senses and despite reassurances, he couldn't help but feel like he was about to walk into a dense, dark forest blind. He was also rarely this close. Half the time, the President's guests wouldn't have known Eddie's face in an empty room. Most of the time, he wasn't even in the same room for arrivals. His work was usually done before the first cars were even past the gates. It felt incredibly unstable to be standing to the side of Bobby and Athena, facing the door and waiting to be acknowledged, front and center. </p><p>Thankfully, neither Bobby or Athena noticed his nerves and if they did they were too caught up grinning to notice. </p><p>Judd Ryder, Athena's personal Secret Service agent, noticed but that's because the smug bastard always noticed. </p><p>"Welcome to the club." He'd ribbed with his Texas drawl when Eddie had arrived that morning. "We play poker on Wednesdays."</p><p>But the difference between Eddie and Judd was that Judd and Athena were a perfect match. When you have a First Lady who used to be a police sergeant you needed someone who would yell right on back if the occasion ever arose. Eddie... couldn't really imagine the prince and him clicking together as well as them. </p><p>The shiny front bumper glistened in the sunlight as three black cars pulled into the drive. </p><p>Normally, whenever a foreign dignitary or guest came to visit, the press secretary was on standby with a select few reporters to document an official handshake and take down any remarks that might interest the public. Sometimes history happened in those handshakes. Beginnings of disasters too.</p><p>But this was something entirely different and purposefully private. No cameras. No public lens to play for. The goal was to sneak the prince in--- as much as you could sneak a prince inside a building that was surrounded by people 24/7--- and give him hopefully a week before his arrival was announced. Optimistically, six days. Realistically, three and a half. There were contingencies in place if the story leaked any sooner. </p><p>Bobby and Athena murmured to each other, squeezing hands in a private, intimate way that made Eddie feel like he was intruding, before they were stepping forward.</p><p>The car had barely been pulled into park before the occupant flung open the door to the backseat without a care of anyone seeing. Long legs stretched out of the seat before Prince Evan pulled himself out and threw himself into awaiting arms in a blur of a light grey hoodie and a bed head of curls.</p><p>"Bobby!" Came the shattering exhalation from the prince as his face slammed against the President's collar bone before ducking down into a long, fierce hug.</p><p>“Hi Buck,” Bobby said, almost in a whisper and a quiet smile.</p><p>It took all of Eddie's training not to shrink away from the privateness of the moment. There was something weighted in the embrace, hidden from the world, and held delicately in Bobby's arms as he rubbed his hand up and down the prince's back. Eddie didn't know what he'd been expecting but the idea that the prince's arrival would have been anything but a stiff handshake and a perhaps a few formalities felt unnatural now. The prince in Bobby's arms was just... right. There was no other way to describe it. The energy was tangible and the worry made his fingertips buzz into alertness. It was one thing to be told something was wrong and another to feel it. The need to shield something so vulnerable was engrained in his DNA and Eddie couldn't help but be reminded just how important this all was. </p><p>“Buck!” Athena smiled when Bobby and Buck broke apart and pulled the prince into her arms. “We got you now, baby. We got you.”</p><p>And that was definitely not something Eddie was supposed to hear. He kept his eyes pointed in front of him and considered stepping away. They didn't need Eddie's analyzing eyes to remind them just how unsettled they'd all felt moments ago. Besides, it was all part of the job description after all; watch everything and see nothing.</p><p>Joining the Secret Service had been an easy decision for Eddie when he left the Army. Shannon was gone and he had a kid with disabilities that he wanted to spoil every day to make up for the moments he missed when he’d been little. The job had slipped onto his shoulders like a worn jacket, the weight a familiar heaviness he could carry settling on his back. The agency had taken his strengths from the military and honed them and took his flaws and crafted them into more strengths. One of those things they were all very good at was to look and not see. He was a lot closer to the inner circle now, he reminded himself. There were going to be things he was going to hear and see that he'll have to forget in an instant. </p><p>“Eddie,” Bobby called when their private moment was over.</p><p>Eddie straightened and focused back on his new charge.</p><p>“I’d like you to meet my godson,” Bobby said, clapping the prince on the shoulder.</p><p>Blue eyes sparkled into an almost preening contentment.</p><p>
  <em>Sparkled? Really, Eddie?</em>
</p><p>“Your Royal Highness,” Eddie said in return with a short bob of his head.</p><p>He was the President’s Secret Service, he didn’t have to bow.</p><p>“Please,” the prince said with a charming smile that probably got him into more trouble than it was worth. “Everyone calls me Buck.”</p><p>Then he held out his hand, breaking the unspoken rule whenever interacting with foreign royalty. They are to be seen and never touched. Eddie eyed his hand for a moment before he took it in his own and received a firm handshake.</p><p>Pictures didn’t do Buck any justice. He had an accent that was a unique mix of American and British which curled words around his tongue but clipped at his lips. The birth mark dotted on his brow bone was more pink than red like someone had poked the perfection of his face to see if it was real.</p><p>Perfect in it's imperfection.</p><p>His eyes really were sparkling too. Pools of crystalline blue and trouble… so much trouble. But there was something else there, again that Eddie couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something wounded almost that the prince was doing everything he could to swallow down and Eddie was too good at his job not to catch.</p><p>Buck.</p><p>It was his codename but it seemed more suited to him than Evan. Not that Eddie was ever going to call him that to his face. There was a clear line of professionalism that he wasn't about to cross. </p><p>“I’m Eddie,” he said finally. “I’ll be head of your protection detail for your stay, sir.”</p><p>Something sharp and challenging glinted across Buck’s face before he smothered that down into a polite smile with a pointed edge of a smirk. Eddie knew when he was being sized up and he felt his lips twitch as well, not backing down.</p><p>“Also known as 'the keep you out of trouble' squad.” Athena added and breaking whatever tension that had settled between them.</p><p>Buck turned around with a feigned expression of innocence and clutched a hand over his heart.</p><p>“Me? Trouble?” Buck gasped earning a laugh from the two.</p><p>Athena smacked his arm with the back of her hand and Buck fell back a step with the hit.</p><p>“Eddie, you are not doing a good job at being my protection detail,” Buck said, pointing at Athena. “I’m being assaulted.”</p><p>Eddie knew it was a joke and he laughed without any real feeling behind it but Buck must have caught on because his looked turned a little strange.</p><p>Interesting. Maybe those eyes really did see things a little further past his own nose.</p><p>Maybe Eddie needed to work on his poker face. He wasn't used to having to feigning pleasantries and Eddie took his job seriously. It was hard for him to joke about it. </p><p>Especially when his charge had a history of running off and endangering and inconveniencing many people's lives. </p><p>Judd caught his gaze and rolled his eyes, silently telling him to ease up a little. Eddie hoped the small smile didn't seem as forced as it felt. </p><p>Judging by the prince's carefully controlled expression, it did. </p><p>“Yeah, well, he still works for me, Buckaroo.” Athena smirked and turned on her heel.</p><p>“I thought the Secret Service worked for you,” Buck said, turning to Bobby.</p><p>Bobby shrugged. “She’s the boss.”</p><p>“Damn straight,” Athena called over her shoulder. “Come on, Buck. We’ll have brunch and then you can get some rest from your flight. Fifteen hours on a plane and you still look a golden retriever.”</p><p>“A very tired, very grateful, golden retriever,” Buck said, following Athena without a second glance.</p><p>Eddie fell into step a few paces back and started heading into what would be his life for the next six weeks.</p><hr/><p>Eddie learned a few more things about the prince that hadn’t been on the internet or the dossier in the first three days of his stay. For one thing, he insisted on being called Buck no matter the protocol. Eddie fell into the compromise of calling him sir or his title when they were public because they were not friends. The closest anyone was ever called anything but their title was Bobby and that's because he saw the title of captain worthy of just as much respect as President. But even the prince's own sister seemed to call him Buck when he had FaceTimed her that first day. </p><p>Eddie didn't really know how to read the flash that would cringe on the prince's imperfect face whenever Eddie addressed him. </p><p>That was another thing: the prince's face was made up in flashes. Flashes of emotions that escaped before the tight reigns of what Eddie sure was years of royal training of etiquette and emotional suppressing. They were always fleeting and too fast to grasp but Bobby seemed to know them better than anyone because a flash on Buck's face usually resulted in a silent squeeze of comfort or even a murmured word that Eddie didn't try to hear. </p><p>He also learned that jet lag made Buck a little cranky. The kind of blurred eyed in the afternoon, mumbled growling greeting in the morning kind of cranky which, if Eddie was being honest, was kind of adorable. The only cure seemed to be a cup of black coffee which earned a little respect from Eddie because the world was a cruel place and the only true armor was the ability to drink a cup of coffee with no frills. </p><p>Buck also didn’t eat breakfast first thing in the morning because it made his stomach upset. A tray had been brought to his room on the first morning and he’d eaten half the meal out of what Eddie suspected was some misguided politeness before spending the remainder of the day rubbing his stomach.</p><p>But what Eddie also knew was that Bobby had scheduled a few major meetings that no one was saying was a smoke screen to keep Buck's arrival a secret even though they definitely were.</p><p>It was becoming obvious that what ever the prince was running from, he'd fallen into the shelter of Bobby and Athena's arms to lick at some hidden wounds. Despite all the stories he'd heard, the prince was quiet and moody when he was alone and almost shy when he realized he'd got too comfortable around people. When he was alone, his headphones were usually tucked into his ears and he spent most of his time in his room when he wasn't with Bobby or Athena, watching episode of <em>Schitt's Creek </em>that apparently hadn't aired overseas yet. </p><p>They'd barely said a paragraph worth of words to one another. A paragraph. Four sentences in the span of three days that didn't involve a curt 'good morning' or clipped 'good night.' And Eddie was seriously starting to wonder why Bobby thought he was the right person for the job when it felt like all he had done so far was cross as a blip in Buck's schedule.</p><p>Which is why Eddie was surprised when Buck peeked his head out the door of his room on the third day looking chipper and way too awake for the time it was.</p><p>“Hey Eddie,” Buck said, tilting his head to the side. “You wouldn’t happen to have a gym that we could go to? Somewhere not super crazy busy?”</p><p>Eddie nodded. “The Residence has a gym---”</p><p>But Buck shook his head. “No, I mean like a normal gym. I feel weird working out with no one around. And... no offense, but I'd rather not work out with only you staring at me in a corner somewhere.”</p><p>Eddie frowned because they could technically go to one of the gyms downtown but he would need to get a team together to do a sweep and that could take a couple of hours. Judging by the slight jittery bounce in Buck’s step, he knew that wouldn’t cut it.</p><p>It was the first real request Buck had made since arriving at the White House and more words than he'd said to Eddie since they met. He could just insist on having Buck try the Residence's gym. Athena liked it just fine from what he could tell by the way she verbally obliterated her trainer and Eddie wasn't exactly known for being a people pleaser. He had to think of Buck's safety first and foremost.</p><p>Buck must’ve seen the dissecting hesitation on Eddie’s face because the light fell a little from behind his eyes and it was the first real thing Eddie had seen from the prince that wasn’t smothered with polite distance. Disappointment. </p><p>Eddie kind of hated that. </p><p>“I know a place,” Eddie said before he could stop himself. “Give me thirty minutes.”</p><p>You would’ve thought Eddie told Buck he could have ice cream for breakfast.</p><p>A hurried couple of calls, a quick scan of the building, and a discreet car ride later found Eddie leading Buck into the headquarters of the Secret Service and the large, expansive gym in the basement. The gym was brimming with people who were trained like Eddie to look and not see, making it the perfect place for the prince to burn off some excess energy without being bothered. Agents and officers were trying to squeeze in a few reps before reporting for duty and the only sounds of the gym were the soft clinking of metal weights or the hums of a treadmill. He saw Bosko sparring in the ring with another night agent and Judd was hurrying out with a cup of coffee in his hand to be around for the First Lady when she woke up. Eddie preferred the gym after he clocked out. It was quieter. He could get lost in his own head and not have to focus on everything at once and punch out just enough energy before he went home to tuck his kid into bed.</p><p>“Oh no!” A voice called when Buck stepped through the threshold.</p><p>Another flash. There on Buck’s face. Eddie still couldn’t place it but he spotted it all the same.</p><p>But then a beaming smile appeared and Eddie’s stomach flipped a little in a way that was totally <em>not</em> professional.</p><p>“Who let the riff raff into our secret hide out?” Chimney asked, coming forward and meeting Buck’s hug with one of his own.</p><p>“Probably the same person who let you in,” Buck quipped with a pointed glance at Eddie, earning a hard smack on his back from Chimney.</p><p>Chimney was the White House Press Secretary and the only reason he knew about the gym was because Eddie told him. If there was one person who needed to hide out to make ugly faces while sweating and working out it was the press secretary.</p><p>“An exception was made,” Eddie said with a shrug when Chim nodded to him.</p><p>“What are you even doing awake this early? Going a little stir crazy?” Chim asked.</p><p>“You have no idea.” Buck was bouncing on the balls of his feet again like the energy had nowhere else to go but a real smile was a good look on him.</p><p>“Well, come on!” Chim turned to Eddie. “You coming, Eddie?”</p><p>Eddie shook his head. “Can’t. Technically on duty.”</p><p>Something close to skepticism crept onto Buck’s face but Chimney directed him to the equipment before he could dwell too long.</p><p>“Next time,” Chim said over his shoulder. “Bring your sweats! This knuckle head isn’t any excuse to slouch on physical exercise.”</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes and followed as Chim and Buck made their way over to the wall of cardio machines.</p><p>“Hey,” Chim said as Buck jumped onto the first treadmill he saw. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you arrived. Cap thought you might want a couple of days to get settled and where I go a few nosy vultures with cameras eventually follow---”</p><p>“It’s cool,” Buck said, setting the number on the treadmill up way too high to start off with but racing up into a steady jog without missing a beat.</p><p>“I know but I hate not getting a chance to see ya, kid,” Chim said. "How's your sister?"</p><p>Chim and Buck caught up quietly as they raced between sprints and jogging until eventually they were both glistening with sweat and their chests were heaving with exertion. Buck moved on to the pull up bar, crossing his ankles, and lifting his body weight like it was nothing. His biceps bulged beneath a too tight shirt and Eddie felt his skin itch with the urge to do a couple of pull ups himself. Watching Buck work out was a lot harder than going on a run with the President the few mornings Bobby could fit one in. Buck’s work out was also a lot different. There was something comfortable that only came from a routine and something else that lingered like a thick tension line attached to the space between his shoulders as he pushed himself harder and harder.</p><p>Eddie could recognize the coping skill easily. He’d spent enough time himself working out until the bad energy oozed with sweat and body heat, leaving you too tired to think about anything but a hot shower and a long nap. </p><p>But there was something else that Eddie quickly realized too. Buck and Chim had a natural banter between the two of them, something that he didn’t see with a lot of other foreign dignitaries. Most guests barely put up with Chim, answering his questions and agreeing to his press appointments because they didn’t really have a choice and usually didn’t bother to hide their distrust or even blatant revulsion. Their loss considering that Chimney was a pretty great guy, in Eddie’s opinion. But Buck was something more wasn’t he? That’s what had been made pretty clear the moment he’d been asked to take lead on his protection detail. Buck was turning out to be less of a visiting royal and a lot more like <em>family </em>to everyone he came in contact with and the history was a lot more tangible now that he could see it. Still murky by design but there like a window pane smeared with rain. </p><p>It was stunning how being around Chim for an hour seemed to show just how starved for companionship Buck really was. Being the eyes and ears in rooms, Eddie was no stranger to the loneliness that could plague the people of the upper circles. He'd been privy to far too many private moments of smiles falling as couples viciously bickered or the longing looks cast from a quiet corner. But he never could really understand it. They had people all around them, all they had to do was reach out. But it was different with Buck. He kept the loneliness close to his chest and the only time he ever really allowed you to notice was when he dropped it to open his arms for a hug.  </p><p>“It should be a crime to have that much energy,” Chim eventually said to Eddie when Buck had gone through a few rounds of weights and squats and was back doing another rep of pull ups.</p><p>Chim took a swig of his water, shaking his head as Buck added in a few knee ups as well.</p><p>“Hey,” he said, dropping his voice so that only Eddie could hear. “Has he been doing okay?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Chim didn’t say anything for a minute, chewing on his words and watching Buck with the same barely concealed concern that had been on the President and First Lady’s face for the past 72 hours.</p><p>“Kid’s just had a rough couple of months.”</p><p>“Well, this is the first time he’s left the Residence so…”</p><p>“Progress.” Chim tipped his water in cheers. “Keep an eye on him for us, will you?”</p><p>“That’s my job.”</p><p>Chim smacked Eddie on the shoulder and stepped back over to the mat.</p><p>“I got to go, Buckaroo!”</p><p>Buck dropped to his feet, his face dripping with sweat and disappointment that made Eddie practically ache for him.</p><p>“What? No! C’mon, Chim---”</p><p>“Sorry! But the American Press awaits and I have morning briefing in an hour. I’ll swing by tonight, barring we don’t have some kind of national disaster.”</p><p>“Chim---” Buck started and then stopped himself, reigning in that loneliness Eddie was only starting to really see.</p><p>Chim swung his bag over his shoulder and pointed at the two of them.</p><p>“Don’t get stuck in a push up. I don’t want to have to give that briefing. After making fun of his elders, his Royal Highness contracted mid plank in a divine act of karma.” And then he was gone and Eddie was stuck feeling the void he’d left.</p><p>Buck bit his lip before slipping in his headphones again and went back to the weights, sealing in all his emotions --- the joy, the sadness--- back up towards his chest.</p><hr/><p>“Buck?” Athena asked over her spoon.</p><p>She’d been watching Buck like a hawk as he swallowed spoonfuls after spoonfuls of Bobby’s famous chili. Sweet and oblivious as ever, Buck had all but caved when he smelled wafts of ground beef and cumin filling the air. She glanced over at Eddie to make sure he was listening--- digging into his own bowl of chili on the side because not even the hardest, most stoic of agents could say no to Bobby’s chili--- and he returned her gaze with a nod.</p><p>Buck shoved an entire piece of her cornbread in his mouth like he hadn’t been fed in days and looked up at her with a smile.</p><p>“I was thinking about next week,” she started, throwing a napkin across the table at him. “I’m touring the new NICU ward at the Children’s National Hospital. It’s the one I go to with Santa during Christmas time.”</p><p>“Is Eddie going to dress as Santa?” Buck asked way too earnest to be serious.</p><p>Eddie choked on his chili and glared at Athena as she laughed.</p><p>“You might find that Eddie would be <em>strangling </em>Santa,” Athena said with knowing smile. “But I’ll let him tell that story.”</p><p>Buck smirked around his mouthful of food.  </p><p>“Anyway,” Athena hummed when it was clear Eddie could breathe again. “I was thinking maybe you should come with me. You can visit your mother’s wing.”</p><p>After Buck had made a rather dramatic and premature appearance, Duchess Amelia had made a large donation to the Children’s National Hospital resulting in a wing that was named after her when she passed. Buck sobered a little with some sort of a soft smile on his face before he nodded.</p><p>“I’d be happy to,” he said.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>They finished their lunches in a comfortable tranquility that came from a quiet afternoon and a warm lunch. Athena listened as Buck went on and on about all the things he'd been asked to do for his sister's coronation, gushing about how beautiful she'd been when he got to see her in her dress for the first time. The prince was loose limbs as he lounged on the sofa when Athena caught him up on May's latest achievements and Harry's current commentary. For anyone who didn't know where to look, it was a relaxing afternoon with good food, good conversation, and even better company. </p><p>But Athena's eyes were a little too sharp, the skin a little too tight across her brow as she watched Buck almost curl up like a cat from exhaustion. The prince looked better after his work out but he also looked tired too in a way that Eddie hadn't noticed before. The kind of tired that only came when someone was finally comfortable after ages of restlessness and discontent.</p><p>Her hands would fidget any time something Buck said would catch her attention--- something a little too self-deprecating or a little too mean--- before she quickly hid them in her lap. She was worried and hiding it and Buck was either too tired to see or too lost in his own head to notice. Eddie wasn't and when Athena's brown eyes darted to his, he couldn't help but catch her concern and internalize it until his stomach rolled with unease. </p><hr/><p>Eddie didn’t normally work nights and now that Buck was finally sleeping during the hours everyone else in the country was, he felt pretty secure leaving the prince under the watchful eye of Agent Bosko. But Christopher’s school had put on a huge science fair the day before and not to brag but… well, his son was a genius. He’d missed too many moments already and if he could make it to a science fair, he was going to do everything he could to be there. Lena had gladly taken over the morning for him and he’d been able to have breakfast with his kid and be the proud parent in the auditorium that only had eyes for his son. Christopher was his everything and without him, Eddie didn’t think he’d be able to do what he did day in and day out.</p><p>Which is why he found himself, after taking a several hours long midday nap, standing outside the prince’s room at three o’clock in the morning and remembering why he hated the night shifts.  </p><p>They were boring. <em>So boring.  </em>Even in the Residence, the halls were usually bustling with activity but in the dead of night there was nothing but silence and the last dregs of his coffee that he’d been swilling around the bottom of his cup. He knew why he had to be there. He’d heard stories about how a man once had broken into Buckingham Palace in the 70s and somehow made it past the guards, through the palace, and all the way to the Queen’s bedroom before he was caught and in the 80s a guy somehow made his way past security and wandered around the Residence with an overnight bag. There'd been too many close calls and way too many crazies that required round the clock Secret Service presence. Even when no one else was awake.</p><p>But that didn’t make the nighttime hours any less mindless.</p><p>He did have to remind himself that he shouldn’t go looking for trouble. When the night was busy there was usually something big going on and Eddie wasn’t exactly wanting anyone to commit a federal offense while he was on duty. The paperwork alone would've been a nightmare and then the President would've had to be woken up and--- Nope. Not worth it.   </p><p>He should’ve stopped while he was ahead.</p><p>It started off soft; a sound that was barely above a whisper. He’d stood up straighter. The prince had probably just gotten up to use the bathroom or something.</p><p>But then he heard it again and something about the sound set the hairs on the back of his neck straight up.</p><p>Something was wrong. </p><p>“Your Royal Highness?” Eddie asked through the door, knocking against the wood with the peak of his knuckles.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>It was silent long enough for Eddie to start to wonder if he’d been hearing things before a thin cry shot out through the empty hallway and Eddie’s heart flipped as adrenaline rushed through his veins.</p><p><em>Pain. </em>It was there deep in the bones of that wail.</p><p>A series of things happened in rapid succession.</p><p>He radioed his entry while opening the door at the same time, ready to tackle or shoot if necessary.</p><p>“Your Royal Highness, are you all right?” He asked, scanning the room for any sign of danger.</p><p>His hand paused at the light switch, gun aimed at the floor, and froze at the sight of Buck jerking awake. His breath shot out of his lips with heaving shaky exhales and not enough inhales like he’d been drowning and only just broken to the surface. The room was still dark but the light from the hallway was enough for Eddie to see the wide, <em>scared, </em>blue eyes in a stunning reflection of panic and horror.</p><p>Buck’s curls were wild and free on his head like he’d been tossing and turning all night and a hand shot up to rub a fingers through them.</p><p>“Your Royal Highness,” Eddie said, holstering his weapon when it was clear that the only threat was hidden somewhere deep in the prince’s mind.</p><p>But Buck didn’t seem to hear him and a hitched breath forced the prince to drop his head down to his chest, curling his spine until he was small and protected.</p><p>Even from across the room, Eddie could tell he was trembling.</p><p>“Prince Evan?” He asked again.</p><p>Another hitched whine passed Buck’s lips.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” the thin raspy voice said, choking on the air he was sucking into his lungs.</p><p>Eddie didn’t know what he was apologizing for but Buck continued before he could ask.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Buck said again, his hand seeking out a pillow that definitely didn’t match the rest of the bed set and curled it close to his chest. “I-I d-didn’t mean to…”</p><p>“Are you all right?” </p><p>“I’m fine.” But the way Buck’s voice cracked was anything but fine.</p><p>Eddie didn’t even think as he crossed the threshold--- and over the professional line he'd been adamant about not crossing--- and took the long, quick steps until he was beside the bed. Buck pulled his knees up and clutched the pillow between his thighs and his chest, hiding his face in the red and black flannel pillow sheet.</p><p>He wasn’t fine. That was something Eddie was starting to see. There was something that had been very wrong the whole time he’d been under Eddie’s protection, something that extended long before he'd even stepped foot in the White House. He’d known it the moment Bobby had asked him to take on the assignment and confirmed it by the way everyone's concern had been fanned every time someone so much as looked at him.</p><p>Buck was hiding and Eddie didn’t know what from. He was only starting to realize that Buck was hiding behind Eddie and that recognition was enough for Eddie to dig his heels into the ground and stand tall.</p><p>But even Eddie couldn't stop the torments of a bad dream.</p><p>Eddie could try though.</p><p>His motions were familiar as he knelt by the side of the bed and turned on the bedside lamp. Christopher had been suffering night terrors ever since Shannon’s death and more often than not Eddie was already out of bed and across the hall before he was completely awake from muscle memory alone. </p><p>He curled a hand around Buck’s ankle and moved another up and down the curved spine without bothering to wonder if he could be fired. It was inappropriate but he didn't even care because Buck was hurting and Eddie had to help. </p><p>“It’s just a dream,” Buck said more into the pillow than to Eddie.</p><p>Still, he leaned into Eddie’s touch and Eddie tried to steep a little more warmth from his palm into the clenched back muscles.</p><p>“A bad dream,” Eddie said and something close to a wet laugh escaped Buck’s lips.</p><p>“Yeah,” he said, turning his head so that his temple was pressed into the pillow and his face was directed at Eddie. “A bad dream.”</p><p>Buck sucked in a sharp inhalation of air before the trembling made his whole body shudder on the exhale as if he was shaking away any of the lingering threads of the nightmare that still clung to him. Eddie didn't even know what to say to make it better but the weight of his hand seemed to help as the severity of the curve of Buck's spine seemed to relax just a little.  </p><p>They stayed like that for what could’ve been hours but was probably only a few minutes until eventually the trembling stopped and Buck could take a breath that didn’t sound like it would shatter once it reached his lungs. Buck peered up at him, blue eyes a little clearer, and expression a little more hidden.</p><p>They both seemed to realize their position at the same moment and Eddie watched as something guarded dropped past over the prince’s face as he pulled out of Eddie’s touch and uncurled from his pillow.</p><p>“I…” Buck said, clearing his throat. “I… Thank you. I’m fine.”</p><p>Eddie couldn’t help but wonder how many times the prince had said those two words to make them sound so rehearsed.</p><p>“Are you?” He dared to ask, standing as Buck slipped across to the other side of the bed and stood up.</p><p>Buck crossed his arms and gave Eddie a sharp nod. “Of course. It was just a dream.”</p><p>“Seemed like one hell of a dream.” Eddie quipped because he started to hate seeing the way Buck would hold his hurt to himself as if he was scared someone was going to knock it from his hands.</p><p>And when did that happen exactly?</p><p>Probably when he realized just how worried Bobby and Athena were. That must have been it because he would take a bullet for both of them in a heartbeat and if something was bothering them, it bothered him too, and something with the prince was bothering them <em>greatly. </em></p><p>Another flash. His emotions were like lightning on his face as they flashed across his expression. This one was edged with a challenge that hardened his features as he blushed and Eddie almost opened his mouth to apologize because it wasn't his business and he'd way overstepped. </p><p>But then the flash was gone in a second and Eddie found himself not really wanting to apologize anymore. </p><p>“Seems like one hell of a reaction to come into my room with a gun for a bad dream.” Buck pointed out, baiting him in a way that was supposed to be defensive but given that Eddie had all but barged his way in during a private moment, he understood.</p><p>He could take the bait. It didn’t take a genius to see that Buck was gunning for a fight. That electric kinetic energy was thrumming across Buck’s shoulders again and the slight bounce in his step was back.</p><p>Eddie shrugged. “Had to make sure you weren’t being murdered in your sleep by the ghost of Andrew Jackson.”</p><p>A startled laugh coughed past Buck’s lips before he could stop himself and Eddie felt the beginnings of a smile pull on his face. The defensiveness slipped off Buck like a silk sheet as he giggled, probably a little delirious, at Eddie’s lame joke.</p><p>“I’m going to assume you aren’t going to back to bed anytime soon,” Eddie said and Buck shook his head.</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m just going to watching something or… read. My sister sent me with like a million books.”</p><p>“Oh, is that what was so heavy? You know we have libraries in this country?”</p><p>Eddie was rewarded with another laugh and the sound was so pure, so genuine, he couldn’t help but want to hear it again.</p><p>Buck shrugged. “It was a long flight.”</p><p>“Well,” Eddie said. “I know those kinds of dreams. The ones that keep you up for the rest of the night. You want an alternative?”</p><p>Buck raised a brow, rubbing the back of his neck. “What did you have in mind?”</p><p>But Eddie shook his head and headed towards the door.</p><p>“Get dressed. I’ll be ready for you in twenty minutes.”</p><hr/><p>It felt a little weird being in his sweats and cut up shirt in front of someone who had more money than Eddie would ever dream of having but Buck was patiently studying the way Eddie curled the roll of tape around his knuckles.</p><p>“This seems a little like overkill,” Buck muttered when Eddie slipped on the gloves for him.</p><p>“Well,” Eddie said, testing the fit and adjusting the Velcro for Buck. “You can explain to the First Lady why you have bruised knuckles in the morning then.”</p><p>“These are fine.” Buck quickly decided.</p><p>Eddie snickered and he would blame it later on the fact that normally he would be sleeping at that time instead of hiding in the Secret Service’s empty gym two and half hours before the sun was supposed to come up.</p><p>“How exactly is this supposed to help?” Buck asked, holding up his hands as Eddie stood up from the bench and led him over to his well-used and beloved water heavy bag.</p><p>“Like I said,” Eddie said. “I know those dreams. You get them when you feel out of control and unsafe. Your feet don’t feel like they're on steady ground, do they?”</p><p>Buck regarded him hesitantly before shaking his head.</p><p>“Well, I find the best way to get rid of the shakes is to punch them out,” he said. “Now, you’re going to want to start with your defensive stance. Hands up and return back after your hit.”</p><p>Buck lifted his hands and nodded, his feet bouncing a little with the energy that never seemed to leave his body. Eddie slowed down the trajection of his fist, watching as Buck copied his moves before nodding and tapping the bag, putting it between him and Buck to hold it steady.</p><p>“Give it your best shot,” he said.</p><p>The tops of Buck’s fingers wiggled and there was something a little insecure in the way he eyed Eddie. Then, he curled his hands into fists and rolled his shoulders back before he threw out a punch.</p><p>Eddie kept silent, letting Buck savor his first hit and feel the way the impact ricocheted up the length of his forearm. Buck’s gaze flicked between Eddie and his fist before he set his stance and hit again.</p><p>“Good.” Eddie hummed as he felt the bag give a little against his hand. “Now try two with the right followed by one with the left.”</p><p>Buck did as instructed and the bag swung into Eddie’s hand.</p><p>“Let your hips move with that right hand as you lift up from your back foot.”</p><p>The smack of Buck’s knuckles against the leather of the heavy bag was almost perfect. From where he was standing, he could see the flush begin to pull into Buck’s cheeks and the set of determination in his strong jaw. Buck hit again and again and <em>again </em>losing himself in the pounding of padded hands and the release of endorphins until Eddie was sure his arms felt like they were weighed with lead.</p><p>He used to do the same a lot; back when he’d first left the army to come home to a wife that had crumpled under the pressure he’d left her to hold. When he’d first joined the Secret Service, it was hard for him to hold onto the tension of being alert only to release it at the end of the day but he managed. After Shannon died, though, he didn’t know how to release that tension anymore. His arms would ache for days and eventually the gym had to replace the bag because all of Eddie’s anguish and all his grief and all his anger turned into something he couldn't carry around anymore. It made him like a live wire and uncertain for not only his job but his son. He couldn’t be there to carry his son if he was drowning himself.</p><p>The dreams… they were like the universe was mocking him.</p><p>Well, he couldn’t hit the universe but he could hit the bag and so could Buck if he needed it.</p><p>Buck’s shirt was soaked through with sweat and Eddie began to wonder if he was going to have to call him off before he hurt something but Buck punched right, right, and then swung so hard on the left that the impact had to have stung all the way up his shoulder. Buck gasped and stepped away before the bag could swing back towards him. He paced in one short circle before dropping onto the mat with a heavy thud and braced his arms on his knees. </p><p>For one fleeting moment, worry curdled in Eddie's stomach. Had he pushed Buck too far? Was this a mistake? Did he just cause an international incident by letting a crown prince injure himself?</p><p>“Th-thank you.” Buck heaved between his gasps. “That was… thank you.”</p><p>Then Buck looked up at him, with those same blue eyes and an open, blinding smile that had Eddie feeling a little weak in the knees and… oh…</p><p>Well…Fuck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Week Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck was turning into a real problem for a couple of reasons.</p><p>Number one: Their daily visits to the gym had officially become part of Buck's routine. Buck was a quick learner and soon they’d moved on to focus punching mitts, circling each other with a two two one swipe combo like some kind of aggressive dance.</p><p>At some point, the press had gotten wind that Buck was in town and had been clamoring at the White House gate for any sight of the ever popular prince and threatening to send Buck further into the safety of the Residence walls. But Eddie had been able to sneak him in and out with ease so that he could get a work out with Chim in the morning and then again in the evening before Eddie switched over his watch to Bosko. The thought of being locked inside anymore than they already were had started to chafe for the both of them. Eddie had learned that, that was something they had in common. Both of them were too active to just sit inside all day. </p><p>And… okay maybe that wasn’t a problem. His job was basically being a glorified companion who would, on the off chance, take a bullet if necessary. Most agents in his position spent more time eating pizza with their charges in between rallies and political functions than actually seeing any real action. It was just that Buck and Eddie preferred to work out rather than hide away in some windowless backroom somewhere. </p><p>So now, Buck would already be waiting for him with that excited bounce in his step and a little more light in his eyes each day. Eddie would be lying is he said that he didn't start looking forward to those times when he didn't have to blend into the background and could just waltz around in the gym with Buck's fists pounding against the pads on his hands. The problem was that he spent most of those nights cursing up and down when he was alone and could remember the little wrinkle whenever Buck grinned too wide and too openly. Or his laugh. Buck had a laugh that made Eddie's head float away from his shoulders a little bit and he almost took a misplaced fist to the face the first time he heard it. </p><p>Buck had been cocky in his smack talk that sounded hysterical coming from his usually polite... cute... face. </p><p>"You know, I'm only letting you get away with your trash talk, which sucks by the way, because your godfather can order to have me killed." Eddie teased back because that's where they were at now and Buck had thrown his head back and laughed. </p><p>His laughter was starting to become a little more frequent and the jumping at his own shadow a little less frequent. </p><p>But... even if he hadn't witnessed another nightmare, didn't mean that he couldn't see the bone deep tiredness that seemed to linger on Buck's entire being. Now that Eddie had seen it, he couldn't unsee it. Even if the prince was way too good at hiding it. </p><p>And despite Eddie asking <em>again </em>and being reassured <em>again </em>that there was no need for concern, he was starting to go a little crazy. A blind person could see that there was something wrong. It was just that no one thought Eddie needed to know which he strongly disagreed with. How was he supposed to do his job if he didn't know what he was fighting against? </p><p>It was frustrating and making him dance along the edge of discontentment. Whoever it was or whatever it was that Buck was running from was being considered a need to know and Eddie <em>needed </em>to know. Even if no one else agreed with him. He swallowed the curiosity down as best as he could though, because he was learning that Buck was way more perceptive than he let on and Eddie refused to be the same person who popped the bubble he'd introduced Buck to in the first place. He could pretend for a little while that Buck was getting better. </p><p>He was with Buck every minute of every day after all. But the gym was their time, filled with Buck's laughs and bad smack talk. </p><p>Okay maybe the laughter was a problem but Eddie wasn't brave enough to add that on the list just yet. </p><p>Right. Buck was causing problems. </p><p>Number two: how did someone make an outfit that would’ve made anyone else look like Mr. Rogers as good looking as Buck did? PR had decided that Athena and Buck should appear a little more laid back for their visit to the Children’s Hospital. Which meant that Buck was walking through the halls in a pair of dark washed jeans that turned at the cuff because his legs were so goddamn long already with a red and blue flannel and a light grey sweater. His curls were combed through and smoothed back with gel and he’d shaved that morning so his face was clean. He practically towered over Athena but stood back as the First Lady took the lead in the tour with one of the head nurses, Carla, who had been nominated by her coworkers to escort their guests.</p><p>The laughter had been packed away with polite smiles and princely behavior but Buck didn't seem to mind because he actually seemed excited about getting to tour the Children's Hospital. </p><p>Which led to another problem. </p><p>Number three: Buck was apparently amazing with kids. Every room they stopped in had Athena and Buck melting into playing with the patients, most of whom were under the ages of nine and were too innocent to even realize who had visited them.</p><p>"I love kids," was all Buck had said with a shrug. </p><p>But Buck had patiently put up with all kinds of staring and probing of curious hands touching his birthmark. He seemed to have an endless amazement for stuffed animals and their backstories and somehow knew how to bring laughter to what should've been a pretty depressing atmosphere.</p><p>For Eddie, being around the Children’s Hospital was as familiar as it was painful.</p><p>“Sorry,” one of the nurses had said when Eddie had stepped aside while Buck was shown into the hospital room of a little boy recovering from open heart surgery.</p><p>“I know you’re on duty but your Christopher Diaz’s father, right?” She’d asked with a smile.</p><p>And if there was anyone who could crack his professional façade it was his son. Eddie was grinning like a proud idiot before he could even answer.</p><p>“I was one of his nurses for his last surgery,” the nurse explained in a hushed whisper. “I have to say that I’m glad that I haven’t seen him but only because he was one of the sweetest patients I’ve ever had. You know, I still have a drawing he made me?”</p><p>Eddie was touched really because it’d been almost three years since Christopher’s last surgery and he already knew his son was one of a kind but it still amazed him how much he could still surprise Eddie day in and day out.</p><p>“Thank you,” Eddie said with a brief nod, trying and failing to school his face.</p><p>When he looked up again, Buck’s eyes were watching and he didn’t know if the prince had heard the interaction but if he did, he didn’t give any indication either way. But then Buck stepped to the side by Eddie when Athena was making her rounds with the nursing staff and the curiosity and concern were making him frown.</p><p>“I didn’t know you had a kid,” he said.</p><p>“Christopher.” Eddie supplied with a curt nod because, to be honest, he didn’t really know what to make of Buck’s expression.</p><p>“Can I see a picture?” Buck asked.</p><p>Eddie hesitated for a moment before he was pulling his phone out of his pocket and holding up the most recent picture he had. It was the two of them in front of Christopher’s school on his first day back, squinting a little as the summer sun still blasted across the sky in the morning. His abuela had insisted and she was always right. It was one of his favorites because Christopher’s arms were around his neck in a way that in a few years he was going to be too old to want to do and their faces were still a little too sleepy from having to shake off their summer schedule for the school year again.</p><p>Not that he was ashamed of Christopher. But, he kept his personal life to himself. He was used to being caught up in the background of the lives of politicians and celebrities and royalty but his son was a whole separate world that he would stand in between no questions asked. While he and Buck may have gotten a little closer, he didn't exactly expect Buck to be able to understand the crutches and Eddie wasn't in the mood to explain. </p><p>His hesitation was for nothing though, because that blinding smile was dazzling across Buck’s face as he took the phone.</p><p>“This is maybe the cutest kid I have ever seen,” Buck said, staring at the photo. “And believe me, I’ve had to look a lot of baby pictures in my life.”</p><p>Buck didn't ask. <em>What's wrong with him? What happened? </em>It always came from a place of misguided sympathy but it still made his blood boil. Nothing was wrong with Christopher. </p><p>And Buck didn't ask any of those things. He just accepted that Eddie had one of the cutest kids he'd ever seen. </p><p>It was refreshing.</p><p>“Are you two done whispering in the corner?” Hen’s voice shocked them both apart and huh… when had they gotten so close?</p><p>“Sorry, Hen,” Buck said, not sounding the least bit sorry but handing back Eddie’s phone all the same.</p><p>“Do you think you could go be princely for a few more minutes?” The First Lady’s Chief of Staff raised a brow at the prince from behind her wide glasses and Buck ducked his head and hurried over to Athena.</p><p>“I see our national golden retriever has charmed you as well.” Hen hummed as she turned to watch Buck and Athena as they were given a demonstration of the new call board.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Eddie sniffed.</p><p>“Sure.” Hen drew out the word with a smirk. “You planning on showing an picture of your adorable son to the Prime Minister of Morocco when he comes to visit next week?”</p><p>And Eddie absolutely does not blush. He doesn’t.</p><p>“Be careful with our Buck,” Hen warned before walking back over to Athena to direct them along.</p><p>What did that even mean?</p><p>A quick glance at Bosko was absolutely no help at all.</p><p>The tour took a heavier note when Athena stepped back and allowed Buck to be led to the Duchess Amelia Wing. It was quieter in her wing with walls painted a soft lavender and a warm low light along the hallway.</p><p>“This entire wing is devoted to giving our new mothers a quiet place to go when everything gets a little too loud,” Carla said with an easy smile. “It can be hard for some of our mothers to adjust to a such a drastic change and this space allows them to have a little moment for themselves and offers them a helping hand when they need it. But there’s something I want you to see.”</p><p>Quietly, they all filed down the hallway and into a room that looked like it served as an oversized lounge. Buck stepped in behind Carla but Eddie could see he was beginning to fidget, a habit Eddie picked up whenever the prince was feeling a little unsteady. He hated that unsteady seemed to be a constant for him.</p><p>Athena gasped and reached forward to wrap her arm around Buck’s elbow.</p><p>“Nope,” Hen said, blocking the few members of the press that had been allowed on the tour from entering the room.</p><p>Eddie gave a sharp nod and Bosko closed the door with a soft click.</p><p>“Oh, Buck,” Athena said.</p><p>It was breathtaking.</p><p>An entire wall was painted white from corner to corner even though you could barely see the backdrop. Splattered across every inch were mismatched painted handprints, each one unique and different but slender and all-encompassing the only way a mother’s handprint could be, with another color of the soft press of a baby’s foot print in their hand. Something warm curled in his chest at the familiar curve of toes. He’d carried a printed copy of Christopher’s footprint with him when he’d served.</p><p>It was so simple and yet so stunning.</p><p>And in the middle of the mural was a black and white picture of Duchess Amelia holding a nestled bundle--- that could only be Buck--- in her arms.</p><p>“This,” Carla said, pointing to a yellow hand print. “Was your mother’s.”</p><p>Suddenly, everyone knew why Carla’s coworkers had nominated her. She was a dream.</p><p>The duchess’s handprint was the only one without a baby’s foot print which made sense because Buck would’ve been six by the time the ward was finished. Instead, she had two pink spots on her palm.</p><p>Buck’s birthmark.</p><p>She’d had small hands with long elegant fingers.</p><p>Athena squeezed Buck’s arm before giving him a little push forward. Something fond crept past the royal façade and Buck’s lips curled into a soft smile as he traced his fingertip along the outline of her handprint before stopping to tap on each of the dots.</p><p>She would’ve died seven months after her hand had marked her spot on the wall.</p><p>“I didn’t know about this,” Buck said and Carla nodded.</p><p>“We always suspected. The story is she wasn’t supposed to put her handprint on the wall because of some royal protocal. She just did it anyway.”</p><p>“Why does that sound familiar?” Athena hummed.</p><p>Buck dropped his gaze to his feet, clearing his throat like he’d been pulled from a trance.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said. “For showing me this.”</p><p>“Do you want a few minutes?” Athena asked, probably sensing like Eddie that Buck wasn’t ready to leave his mother’s signature just yet.</p><p>“Could I?”</p><p>“I thought you might ask,” Carla said and then turned to one of the side doors.</p><p>A nurse with a baby stepped through the door and before anyone could blink Carla had Buck sitting in one of the plush chairs with the baby in his arms.</p><p>“The only rule we have in here is that we spread the same loving touch that your mother blessed us with,” she said, adjusting Buck’s hand so he could hold the baby’s head a little steadier. “This is Milo.”</p><p>The wonder and blissful happiness practically radiated off of Buck as he stared down at little Milo.</p><p>Forget being a dream; Carla was a saint.</p><p>She deserved the medal of freedom for being the first person to pull <em>that </em>smile on Buck’s face. It was something entirely small and secure and something completely his own.</p><p>Athena and Carla stepped outside leaving Eddie to linger in the corner while Buck took his moment to just be still in a moment of yellow handprints and soft baby skin.</p><p>“Hi Milo,” Buck whispered. “My name’s Evan but people call me Buck.”</p><p>“Why do you go by your call sign rather than your own name?” Eddie blurted out.</p><p>He winced, afraid he’d shattered the moment, but Buck glanced up at him with the same open smile.</p><p>That smile. It was going to be another problem.</p><p>Maybe one of his favorites too. Not that he’d ever say that out loud.</p><p>Buck shrugged, swaying a little into a slow rocking for the baby in his arms.</p><p>“All my security team would say it whenever I went somewhere. I just thought that was my name. Besides, Buck is a much cooler name than Evan. Though, I have to admit,” he said down to the baby. “I think Milo may have me beat.”</p><p>It was probably a good thing Hen kept out the press because the admission was followed by a lot of hysterical faces on Buck’s part.</p><p>Then Buck looked up at him and almost knocked the wind from out of Eddie’s chest.</p><p>“Buck’s the real me.”</p><p>It was the first, honest thing Eddie had ever heard Buck say. There were no thinly veiled hesitations or forced platitudes hidden behind the polished exterior of royal conditioning. It was like the smile he’d had in the gym, the exhibition of pure euphoria on a high of endorphins and adrenaline.</p><p>It was just Buck.</p><p>The fart thundered across the quiet of the room like a freight train.</p><p>They stared at one another and dropped their gaze down to the baby in unison.</p><p>“Did he just---”</p><p>Buck flat out giggled, forcing something similar to bubble from Eddie’s lips as well.</p><p>“Oh, yeah.”</p><hr/><p>The tour ended with Buck and Athena reading the children <em>Stellaluna </em>by Janell Cannon. Christopher had his own worn copy at home that had been read over and over so many times but Eddie couldn’t help but smile as the kids stared enraptured by the funny voices Buck was doing or the way Athena would hold the book long enough for everyone to see the pictures.  </p><p>If anyone questioned if Athena knew what she was doing, Eddie would be the first in line to defend her. Buck hadn’t stopped smiling all day and the bounce that seemed to course down his whole body was a little less nervous and a lot more electrified with each passing step.</p><p>“Thank you again for a wonderful tour, Carla,” Athena said.</p><p>“It was an honor and a pleasure,” Carla said in that way that sounded like laughter made up her whole voice.</p><p>“Thank you,” Buck said, beaming, when it was his turn to shake Carla’s hand.</p><p>“Your Royal Highness.” Carla dipped at her knee before curling both her hands around Buck’s. “Your mother’s mark will be here to visit anytime you need it, Buck.”</p><p>That last part she whispered, the words just for Buck, and she laughed as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek.</p><p>“Thank you again.”</p><p>And then he was running to catch up with Athena who was already preparing to make her exit with Judd and Hen.</p><p>“Aegis and Buck ready to exit,” Judd said into his comm, nodding his head at Eddie as he took his place beside Buck.</p><p>“Thanks for this Athena,” Buck said.</p><p>Athena smiled and squeezed Buck around his waist before following after Judd. Cheers echoed across the atrium as Athena left, waving at the crowd that had gathered to catch a glimpse of the First Lady. Normally, the Secret Service liked to make a discreet exit but with news of Buck being in town and Chimney’s careful ministrations to use the hospital visit to slightly deviate all the attention off of him, they had to make a show of everything. He knew Bobby and Athena hated it but they kept gracious smiles on their faces and played along when they needed to. Buck, on the other hand, seemed more used to it and kept a neutral expression during the entire briefing that morning.</p><p>“244 years since the Declaration of Independence and the American people love the royals again,” Chim had said with a shrug when he broke the news.</p><p>Buck cleared his throat and straightened out his shirt as he braced himself for the onslaught of attention.</p><p>“Aegis is clear.”</p><p>Eddie nodded to Bosko and placed his hand on the small of Buck’s back.</p><p>“Ready whenever you are,” Eddie said as he watched Buck place his carefully crafted façade back into place.</p><p>It was fascinating to watch now that Eddie could see the building blocks of Buck’s wall. Buck gave a small jerk of his head before he turned and stepped through the doors.</p><p>Cheers and screams that would've sent anyone else flying off their feet erupted as Buck appeared. But Buck smiled, a patented royal smile that would look great from any angle and didn’t ugly up his face, and waved. Athena was able to make a hasty exit, giving a few gracious waves and hurrying into her SUV, but Buck wasn’t as lucky. For the first time in over a week he was back on duty, representing a crown and a new generation of royals. Buck and his sister, Maddie, had a history of being a little more laid back with their admirers but unfortunately, that created an expectation. Everyone wanted to see and be seen by a handsome prince with a charming grin and a glitter of nobility dripping off his every word.</p><p>Buck picked a side, shaking as many hands as he could, and cracking a few jokes for the star struck spectators.</p><p>“These are for you,” a woman said, thrusting a massive bouquet of flowers into Buck’s hands.</p><p>An agent took them as quickly as they were delivered and Buck laid on the graciousness before anyone could even be slightly offended.</p><p>“Thank you so much,” he said, playing up his accent a little with a quirk of his lips. “I hope you don’t mind but I think there’s a couple of kids in there who these would make their day a little brighter.”</p><p>Buck had requested that any of the flowers or gifts be donated to the hospital instead, a request that the media ate up when Chim had made the announcement.</p><p>Buck’s steps were slow but increasing as he made his way down the line and then he hurried to the other side with Eddie and Bosko close behind him.</p><p>Honestly, Eddie didn’t know how he did it. He was almost exhausted just watching as Buck paid attention without actually stopping, captivating and engaging, as he winked at the few people he couldn’t reach.</p><p>He was putting on a show and he was very good at it. Prince Evan was a complete 180 from the Buck Eddie had watched.</p><p>
  <em>“Buck’s the real me.”</em>
</p><p>Eddie didn’t think he really understood what that meant until he had to watch the imitation. Not that Buck wasn’t genuine. That’s why the people forgave him for every bad press story in the tabloid. There was an authenticity to Buck that most people hadn’t experienced from royals. But Eddie was starting to see that there was a difference between Evan and Buck. Prince Evan was down to Earth and funny and endearing. Buck… well, Buck was a lot of other things.</p><p>They were finally reaching the end, steps away from Buck’s SUV when it happened.</p><p>A flash of blue tulle and silver sequins dashed past Eddie and Lena’s legs. Someone yelped and the gasp of a mother reached Eddie’s ears over the roar of the crowd.</p><p>“Clare!”</p><p>Eddie was an agent but he was a father first and foremost. So, when the sight of a little girl in a princess dress darted from the barricade and headed straight for the street, his heart bottomed out to the pit of his stomach.</p><p>And then Buck was spinning around and catching her, lifting her up into his arms right before her plastic slipper shoe could step off the curb.</p><p>Silence could be as loud as a siren in an echo chamber and in that moment when everyone realized what happened, it was the loudest it could have ever been.</p><p>“Whoa!” Buck exclaimed, making a funny face down at the little girl in his arms. “Hey now, Clare. Where you going so fast?”</p><p>“I wanted to see the princess,” Clare said, pointing at Buck’s SUV.</p><p>“You mean my sister, Maddie?” Buck asked earning a nod from the little girl.</p><p>He sent a knowing look to the crowd and gave a good humored shrug.</p><p>“She’s not with me this time. But I can give her a message for you,” he said. “Is that card for her?”</p><p>Again, Clare nodded and held a small card that had been crushed in her fist, suddenly shy now that she realized everyone was watching them.</p><p>There were several coos from the crowd and even Bosko looked a little smitten as Buck made a show of reading the card so that only Clare could hear.</p><p>“She’s going to love it. I’ll make sure to give it to her right away.”</p><p>“Special delivery?” Clare asked from behind her hand.</p><p>Buck nodded. “Special delivery.”</p><p>And then tiny arms were wrapped around Buck’s neck as the little girl hugged out her gratitude.</p><p>With a soft smile that was a little more Buck and a little less Evan, Buck glanced into the crowd until he could spot Clare’s mother.</p><p>“Your highness, I am so <em>so </em>sorry! I tried to explain to her that your sister wasn’t here.” Clare’s mom turned to Eddie and Lena. “I’m so sorry!”</p><p>“Happens all the time, ma’am,” Eddie said, waving off her apologies.</p><p>“Eh!” Buck shrugged. “I wish my sister was here too. She’s way cooler than me.”</p><p>He wrinkled his nose at Clare before reaching forward and handing her off to her mother.</p><p>Now, if there was one thing Eddie was extremely good at, it was threat assessment. That’s why he was normally placed as a position as the eyes when he was on assignment. He could catalogue a person’s credibility and intention as easily as he could breathe. He didn’t have to think about it. His therapist he’d seen when his transition from military to civilian life turned bumpy enough to send him jolting at a door knock had called it hyper vigilance. Eddie was lucky that in his line of work that was something considered as an asset and not a flaw. </p><p>But, no one would’ve been able to predict the arms that circled around Buck’s bicep. He’d barely handed Clare back into her mother’s arms before they were knocked backwards and several people were pushed forward. The metal barricades screeched into a wobble and slammed as Buck was pulled down and sideways.</p><p>“I love you, Prince Evan!”</p><p>Panic exploded across Buck’s face as he was jerked as if he was being suctioned into the pool of bodies and someone screamed as another set of arms wrapped around his neck. The barricade wobbled again and Buck’s foot slipped from under him.</p><p>Eddie grabbed him around the middle with a strong arm and yanked him back before he could be pulled further. Buck stumbled into his chest and Bosko was shoving the overeager fans off of both of them.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you?” Bosko all but barked out. “You don’t grab a person like that!”</p><p>But Eddie didn’t wait. Buck’s heart thundered against Eddie’s hand as the terror he could literally feel started to steal away all of the prince’s color. He tucked Buck to his side with an arm around his waist and steered them to the SUV, putting his hand on the back of Buck’s head as he all but stumbled inside the backseat. The door slammed behind them and the car took off with a measured jolt.</p><p>They weren’t running but it was time to leave.</p><p>Buck cursed as he dropped his head in between his knees, Clare’s card floating down onto the seat beside him. A shaking hand combed through his hair, dislodging the gel and sending the curls to coil into a mess of directions, before tight fingers latched onto the strands.</p><p>“Is he all right?” Lena asked but Eddie ignored her as he ran his hands along Buck’s arm, collarbone, and neck.</p><p>No open wounds. No broken bones.</p><p>“Eddie,” Lena snapped. “Is he all right?”</p><p>There was no blood but the white knuckled grip Buck had on his hair was enough for Eddie to feel like there might as well have been.</p><p>He knew why she had to ask. She needed to know if they had to redirect to a hospital. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to bark right back at her.</p><p>“No code blue.” He forced out. “Take us back to the Residence.”</p><p>She gave him one clipped nod and lifted the privacy screen between them, already assessing what Eddie’s brain was screaming at him to recognize.</p><p>He’d seen panic attacks before in his lifetime. Hell, he’d had one or two of his own. But seeing Buck scrambling to hold onto the edge from falling into his own was almost unbearable. He could taste the hysteria in the back of his throat that threatened to empathize and swallowed the bitterness back.</p><p>“Your---” Eddie bit back the title with a groan because it was just too damn long.</p><p>“Evan,” Eddie said instead and forced his voice to remain steady. “Evan, look at me.”</p><p>Something close enough to a shattering whimper escaped from somewhere tight in Buck’s chest and he curled further into himself again. It was like that first nightmare all over again and so much worse.</p><p>The stressed high-pitched sound of hyperventilating started to fill the car. Eddie leaned as far as he could until his knee was pressed on the floor and his body was in front of Buck. He couldn’t help it and tried to get Buck to relax his fingers before he pulled out his hair but the prince pressed down harder.</p><p>
  <em>Buck’s the real me. </em>
</p><p>“Let go, Buck,” Eddie said. “Let go.”</p><p>Buck stilled beneath him.</p><p>“Buck,” Eddie whispered. “Let go.”</p><p>Buck’s fingers unclenched from his curls just a fraction but it was enough for Eddie to slip his hands underneath those too cold fingers, pressing his palms against Buck’s scalp.</p><p>“I-I-C-Can’t breathe.”</p><p>It was so quiet Eddie almost didn’t hear him. He smoothed his thumbs back and forth across Buck’s temples and through the forest of tangled curls.</p><p>“Yes, you can,” Eddie said. “You can breathe.”</p><p>Buck shook his head, his breathing picking up a tick that fell back into the dangerous area of hyperventilating, and Eddie dragged his hands down until he could cup the prince’s face. He smoothed his thumbs along strong cheek bones and tilted his chin until far away blue eyes met his. </p><p>Eddie pressed until the warmth of his hands could break through.</p><p>“Buck,” he said again. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”</p><p>Recognition flashed across Buck’s face and he sucked in a sharp inhalation of air before pressing his lips tight and holding it. Eddie could see him counting in his own head as if he was saying the numbers out loud. He nodded and Buck released with a shaky exhale.</p><p>The drive from the hospital to the White House was twelve minutes. They had seven more minutes before they could retreat into the safety of the Residence. They could do seven minutes.</p><p>"I've got you." Eddie didn't know how many times he repeated that but it was enough. </p><p>Buck’s eyes were swimming as he focused on Eddie, breathing in and holding before releasing with a shaky exhale, and Eddie was trying desperately not to drown in them.</p><p>“Thirty seconds out,” Bosko announced.</p><p>Eddie blinked because it felt like no time at all had passed but the ache in his knees said otherwise as the car bounced beneath them.</p><p>Bosko’s voice seemed to snap through whatever drifting haze had settled over Buck and suddenly Eddie was feeling a little more <em>seen. </em>Something about the grasp of clarity Buck had been able to grab onto made something in Eddie feel exposed and raw and the complete opposite of the solid figure that’d been holding Buck together moments earlier. Like he was the one that could be shaken apart at the seams.</p><p>The car slid to a stop and Eddie felt one hot puff of air against his palm before Buck was extracting himself from Eddie’s hold and throwing himself out the door.</p><p>The vertigo from the rollercoaster of emotions had Eddie’s head spinning and he pushed the heel of his palm against his eye with a curse. He used the pressure to ground himself and unfolded his body so that he could get out as well.</p><p>“What the hell happened?” Chim was standing at the door with his arms out at his side.</p><p>But Buck didn’t say anything and hurried past him, Eddie jogging to follow.</p><p>“Eddie!” Chim insisted as he tried to press for some answers. “What happened? Why do I have Taylor Kelly breathing down my neck asking about an incident at the hospital?”</p><p>But Eddie didn’t answer and he barely heard Bosko’s low voice trying to fill him in. Instead, he only had eyes on the back of Buck’s head as he all but ran away from Eddie.</p><p>The warm coals of anger in his stomach simmered as his frustration stoked them.</p><p>No. That’s not how this works.</p><p>Buck doesn’t get to run from him like he’s another thing that’s chasing him.</p><p>Buck made it to his room first and slammed the door behind him but Eddie was quick to swing it back open before slamming it himself.</p><p>The prince startled at the intrusion, eyes wide and spooked.</p><p>“I’m fi---” He started but Eddie swiped his hand.</p><p>“Every time you say that it gets less and less believable,” Eddie said, a little unkindly as the pure exasperation of feeling like he was fighting in the dark took hold of him.</p><p>Buck stared at him, his mouth gaping before he tried to curl into himself again.</p><p>“What just happened?” Eddie demanded.</p><p>He wasn’t entitled to an explanation but he wanted one anyways.</p><p>He couldn’t fight what he couldn’t see and it was <em>pissing him off</em>.</p><p>“What’s been happening?” Eddie asked when Buck didn’t answer. “What are you running from? <em>What is going on?”</em></p><p>Buck flinched in the contrast of Eddie’s volume after an afternoon of quiet bliss and his gaze flicked to the ground. It was just so… pitiful and Eddie found he wanted to do anything to carry some of the burden for Buck so he could smile more and falter less because the Buck he saw earlier ---the one he’d seen every night at the gym when it was just the two of them--- was carefree in his vibrate joy and endless with his willingness to love everyone around him. </p><p>“<em>Buck,” </em>Eddie stressed because now that he'd allowed himself to say it, he couldn't make himself able to fall back on pretenses. “I promise you I will stand between you and whatever it is that has you so scared of your own shadow but you have to tell me.”</p><p>“You can’t,” Buck whispered maybe more to himself than to Eddie but he heard it.</p><p>Those smoldering coals of Eddie’s temper blazed in his chest again.</p><p>“Bullshit.” Eddie spit out and Buck’s gaze jerked up at him again as a flash of something on his expression turned into a spark.</p><p>Good.</p><p>“Cut the crap already.” Eddie’s fists curled at his sides as his palms started to sweat with the call for a fight. “I know a prince of the realm probably isn’t used to a little rough manhandling but no one just falls into a panic attack when they’re grabbed by a couple of teenagers.”</p><p>Buck’s shoulders fell back as he stood at his full height before he crossed the room to stand up to Eddie.</p><p>“You don’t get to speak to me like that.”</p><p>If spending his nights learning how to punch was what was giving Buck a little bit of a backbone again then good. But Eddie had been punching those bags longer than Buck and if a fight was what he needed to get some goddamn answers then fine.</p><p>“With all due respect, <em>sir,” </em>he said from between his teeth. “I am the head of your personal security team and I can speak to you however I damn well please when it comes to your safety. <em>What are you running from?”</em></p><p>Buck’s nostrils flared. “Do you even really care or is it just your job to ask? Because if it’s the second option, I don’t have to tell you a single thing and you can get out.”</p><p>“What kind of stupid question is that?”</p><p>Buck was shutting down that way Eddie saw him do before he went out to visit with the crowd and Eddie wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. Not when he was finally starting to get somewhere.</p><p>“Of course, I care. Why would I even ask if I didn’t?”</p><p>A flash of his expression turned Buck cold and distant, his guard slammed into place. “It’s never stopped people before so…” </p><p>“Oh, stop it. I’ve watched you mope around for days now. What? What is it I don’t get? Come on, Buck, you have my undivided attention here.”</p><p>He was pushing when he shouldn't but he couldn't stop. Eddie couldn't do his job if he was trapped in a bad case of vertigo whenever Buck's emotions decided to take a rollercoaster ride through his life. He couldn't help but think about Judd and how when push comes to shove he'll shove Athena harder when it came down to getting her to safety. Maybe he needed to shove Buck too. Maybe that's what Bobby meant when he said he thought Eddie would be perfect for the job. Maybe he thought Eddie would know the buttons to push to save Buck.</p><p>The feelings of something being so desperately wrong had been suffocating. It was like when Buck couldn't bring in enough air into his lungs and Eddie couldn't breathe for him. But it was his job to protect him and damnit, he cared enough to want to do it without restraint. He thought Buck had started to trust him. But something had Buck so twisted up inside and no one was letting Eddie untie him. </p><p>Anger didn't seem natural on Buck's shoulders but he wore it with familiarity. </p><p>“Fuck you.” Buck grounded out. </p><p>Eddie pushed again and rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Spare me,” he said with a click of his tongue. </p><p>“Get out!”</p><p>And then Buck grabbed Eddie's shirt to shove him out of his face but Eddie grabbed a hold of his sweater and planted his heels into the ground. </p><p>“You can punch out all those feelings inside you all you want but it’ll be for nothing if you just keep carrying that hurt with you," Eddie said, quieter. Something a little nicer because now that he was a breath away he could see the tears Buck hadn't allowed to pool from his eyes.</p><p>He didn't want Buck to cry. But he had to know what was going on so he could fix it. So he could shield Buck from whatever was causing so much damage before his very eyes.</p><p>A breath hitched in Buck's throat as the fight died a little in his face.</p><p>“What are you running from?” Eddie asked again. </p><p>Then Buck's lips were on his.</p><p>In the history of first kisses, it wasn't great. It was more lips and mashed teeth and just desperate enough to hurt but it sent Eddie's heart soaring as he leaned into it. </p><p>Buck broke away a second later before Eddie could push any of his warmth into reciprocating. </p><p>“Me,” Buck said, his voice rough and cracking with thick emotion in his throat he was trying so desperately to hold onto. “I’m running from me.”</p><p>Eddie felt a little breathless as he stared at Buck. </p><p>"I'm sorry. That was inappropriate---" Buck started and unclenched his hand from around Eddie's shirt but Eddie clamped his fingers around his wrist before he could shy away. </p><p>Himself. </p><p>Eddie didn't even know how to begin with helping Buck fight himself. But he could try. </p><p>It wasn't the full story but it was enough for now. </p><p>And before he could even start feel the tendrils of regret, Eddie pressed forward and kissed Buck again. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Week Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The calm before the storm and Buck's still not sleeping well.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The kiss never should’ve happened. It was unprofessional and stupid and blurred all the wrong lines. Sure, they wouldn't be the first who blurred those lines but Buck was a prince, his charge, and under his care. Eddie was his glorified bodyguard, his shield, and the one solid thing that Buck should be able to reach to whenever he needed to feel safe. That was it. It was a very clean line between the two of them and they both stomped over it until it disappeared in the sand beneath their feet.</p><p>The problem was… the kisses kept happening and Eddie wasn’t really doing a lot to stop them. Buck was a goddamn tease and was getting far too much enjoyment out of the way he could easily fluster Eddie moments before Lena came to take her post or Bobby walked through the door to join Buck for brunch.</p><p>And Eddie... Eddie thoroughly enjoyed how easily he could make Buck blush. </p><p>This kiss was on Eddie and he should be man enough to put a stop to it. He never considered himself weak, least of all weak willed... But then Buck moaned in that sinful surprised way Eddie learned that he did as if Buck was remembering how very real Eddie’s hands on his waist were and Eddie licked after it. Just a taste. That’s all.</p><p>But this kiss was the opposite of an innocent peck of lips against skin. The danger of being caught had them both breathless as they pressed everything they had into each other. It was too consuming and everything and if he was in his right mind, Eddie probably would’ve been concerned about the bruise that was sure to show up on Buck’s back from the lockers he was pressed against.</p><p>Right.</p><p>They were making out in the locker room at the gym.</p><p>The gym in the basement of the Secret fucking Service.</p><p>They needed to stop. </p><p>As if sensing his retreat, Buck’s arms latched around Eddie’s neck and pulled him against him. The metal of the lockers rattled against their weight and clattered with their movements but Eddie didn’t even care when he felt how very interested Buck was.</p><p>It was still surprising whenever Eddie crashed back into reality. It shouldn’t be. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Buck didn’t believe in labels and Eddie wasn’t nearly humble enough to deny that he was still very much in the prime of his looks. But it would be an entirely different headline if the media found out Buck swung in the direction of his bodyguard. Buck would ultimately be fine if it got out. The Palace didn’t comment on the private lives of the royals, something Buck’s grandmother learned from the mess that was the Windors and it was a policy they upheld.</p><p>But still, they were under too much scrutiny to be messing around like they were.</p><p><em>“The safety of the prince and the public are the upmost priority for the Secret Service,” </em>Chim had said at the press conference following the trip to the hospital. <em>“The special agents in charge reacted as they saw appropriate given the circumstances.”</em></p><p><em>“Sorry, Howard,” </em>the reporter, Taylor Kelly, who had gotten the tip in the first place asked. “<em>But do you really expect us to believe pushing two teenage girls was an appropriate response?</em><em>”</em></p><p>
  <em>“I’ll remind you again, Ms. Kelly, that the Secret Service does not comment on their protocols but given that those two overeager admirers nearly caused a panic that would’ve resulted in a mob, then I would say yes.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A mob? Really?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A massive crowd pushing people who have nowhere else to go but against a barricade and being disruptive to the patients of the hospital? Yes. Next question.”</em>
</p><p>A hitch sound bubbled out from Buck’s lips that had an embarrassed blush pooling in his already flushed cheeks.</p><p>“We should stop,” Eddie said not really meaning it and leaning forward to leave a line of kisses up Buck’s jaw to the point below his ear that never failed to have Buck shivering beneath him.</p><p>“Locker room sex not on the table for you?” Buck asked with that hint of a tease in his tone.</p><p>Eddie couldn’t even begin to describe the growl that crawled its way from the back of his throat as heat pooled in his chest. He pinned Buck back against the lockers again with a startling rattle, his hands holding him still under his pits and a leg pushed firmly in between Buck’s. Eddie pressed in for another searing kiss that earned another one of those startled gasps he loved so much. Eddie lost track of which tongue was his own as he drowned in the all-encompassing being that was Buck. Buck’s taste. Buck’s scent. Buck’s <em>responses </em>to Eddie’s touches.</p><p>But he forced himself to pull back, nipping at Buck’s bottom lip for good measure, and sucked in a healthy lungful of oxygen.</p><p>“Definitely,” Eddie said and almost caved when Buck’s eyes darkened. “But I’ve got a kid at home who I owe two chapters of <em>The Phantom Tollbooth </em>and if I don’t bring you back soon Lena’s going to send a search party.”</p><p>Anyone else would’ve rolled their eyes at Eddie and would say he was using his kid as an excuse but Buck smiled with a sigh and pecked Eddie again on the lips with one of those quick, soft kisses as he squeezed tighter in his embrace before letting go.</p><p>It was dangerous in its tenderness because it was easier to fall into the category of attraction. Attraction meant no strings; no expectations. Tenderness… well, Eddie wasn’t sure he was ready to acknowledge the existence of those fluttering emotions in his chest yet. He was already smitten. </p><hr/><p>The thing is… Eddie always left Buck feeling terrible. Terribly guilty because he left every kiss feeling like he was one jump away from soaring to the clouds.  He hadn’t really gotten a chance to really process what Buck had said that day. He didn’t really get a chance to process anything with Buck against the wall and his tongue down Eddie’s throat.</p><p>But it was the nights after he put Christopher down to sleep and he was left with nothing but the bone tired ache from work and the phantom burn of stubble against his cheek that he found himself paddling through the murky waters he was now floating in.</p><p>He had a sneaking suspicion that Buck knew exactly what he was doing. The sinful glances, the playful biting of his lip, the kisses. God, the kisses.</p><p>They were all together intoxicating and distracting. Anytime he dwelled too long in his own head trying to understand what Buck’s deal was, Eddie found himself derailed by Buck bumping against his shoulder or ducking into corners where he would pull Eddie close like he needed to feel Eddie’s steadiness to remember he was there. And Eddie fell for it every time.</p><p>Was he being selfish? Was Buck using Eddie as a distraction from his own issues and Eddie was too consumed by how good it felt when Buck was pressed up against him to notice? Eddie didn't know how he felt about being used. Truthfully, he didn't mind but, was Eddie using Buck too? It'd been a couple of years since Shannon... No. No, he wasn't going down that rabbit hole. </p><p>Maybe he was getting better. Buck smiled more, seemed more relaxed and less spooked by his own shadow. That wounded expression had all but disappeared except for a few flashes like lightning across his face as if he was remembering everything and then shoving it aside just as fast.</p><p>Maybe it was easier? He was meant to keep Buck alive; keep him entertained for the duration of his trip. He wasn’t supposed to fix Buck. He got his answer... Sorta.</p><p>Buck was running from himself--- whatever that meant--- and no one was chasing him like Eddie had thought. There wasn’t some international incident waiting to happen or whatever. But there was more to the story that Eddie was still in the dark about. </p><p>He really should stop kissing him though. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself every night he was home alone and lying in bed thinking about what Buck was doing.</p><hr/><p>Being a single dad was everything. It was the gift that got Eddie up every morning. It was his reason for being. When you become so devoted to someone so small and so perfect, it’s hard be anything else but Dad. Christopher was his whole life. He was what kept Eddie going when the crippling anger and even heavier guilt almost took him out at the knees when Shannon died.</p><p>But it was hard to balance being dad and Special Agent in Charge Eddie Diaz. Chris and Eddie thrived under structure. Chris, because it gave him a sense of stability when he grew up in a world of so many possibilities, and Eddie because it made a world where he was juggling so many balls at once feel manageable.</p><p>Somehow, by some miracle, Eddie and Christopher’s schedules aligned perfectly in the morning. Eddie, who had to report for duty early in the morning to relieve Lena before Buck woke up for his workout with Chimney, felt less bad about dropping his son off at school when there was a before school art program that Chris was obsessed with. Most schools in the area offered programs before class started given that most of the students were children of government employees. That meant he was able to have breakfast with his son and dance around their routine of morning exercises before he dropped Chris off at school with a kiss against his curls.</p><p>Usually.</p><p>What tended to throw a wrench in their schedule was when Chris’s school had a two-hour fog delay. He hadn’t been able to get ahold of his abuela until he’d been halfway to the White House with Chris in the backseat, already late for duty, and Eddie swallowed down the desperation that threatened to consume him whole. He forced the grips of anxiety deep down into the dark holes where all the ugly things he never wanted Chris to know about him lived and hurried down the hallways of the Residence to get to his post. He’d been forced to leave Chris at the visitors’ desk with one of the secretaries until his abuela could get him after a hurried kiss goodbye.</p><p>But when Eddie turned the corner, pushing his tie up into a knot at his throat and praying he didn’t look as disheveled as he felt, Lena wasn’t there.</p><p>No one was outside Buck’s door.</p><p>Eddie frowned and rapped his knuckles against the door. Buck was an early riser but he usually wasn’t ready for the gym until about twenty minutes after Eddie relieved Lena.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>Had they gone ahead without him?</p><p>He tried not to dwell too long on the disappointment that settled over him at that.</p><p>“Eddie, Eddie, Bosko,” Lena’s voice filled in his ear.</p><p>“Go for Eddie,” Eddie answered already turning on his heel to head back to Christopher and the secretary, Margaret, that Eddie left him with.</p><p>“Figured we just missed you,” Lena said, sounding far too amused for Eddie’s growing stress headache. “Buck is wandering. Heading towards the West Wing.”</p><p>Eddie bit back a curse and took off on a jog to catch up with them.</p><p>The dense fog turned damp on Eddie’s skin as he cut across the walkway from the Residence to the West Wing. Buck was probably trying to see if he could catch Bobby. While Eddie knew Bobby understood more than most about trying to hold together a family and a demanding job, he was still Eddie’s boss. And he’d asked for Eddie personally. The last thing he needed after the morning he had was to have Bobby find out that <em>weather </em>kept Eddie from being on time. Most assassins didn't care if their target's security had a late morning.</p><p>Okay, Eddie. Too extreme. Bring it down a notch or twelve.</p><p>The West Wing was a beast all of its own. Eddie didn’t spend a lot of time--- even before Buck--- navigating through the halls. Offices and cubicles were congested with people holding about a tree’s worth of paper in one hand and three cellphones in the other. The air smelled like floor polish and coffee and interns’ panic. People were talking <em>everywhere </em>and it was a cacophony of sounds and stress. It was worse than a shopping mall the day before Christmas.</p><p>And this was all the calm before the storm before a state dinner.  </p><p>“Is Buck in with the President?” Eddie asked Tommy, Bobby’s agent, who was posted outside of the oval office next to Paul.</p><p>Tommy frowned and shook his head. “Sorry, man. I think I saw Bosko heading towards the press secretary’s office though.”</p><p>Eddie nodded his thanks and controlled his steps so he didn’t appear frantic as he attempted to intervene. Chim’s office in the morning was a shark infested pool of water with reporters lurking for any kind of scoop. Chimney had only just gotten the press attention off their dramatic departure from the Children’s Hospital and the last thing they needed was for Buck to wander into it on his own.</p><p>Feeling like he was running around with his head cut off, Eddie passed through the lobby and the visitor’s area and hoped he could catch them before they were swarmed.</p><p>“Turn back around, Eddie.” Lena’s voice in his ear jerked Eddie to a halt.</p><p>A very annoyed intern swerved around him and Eddie circled around as he tried to spot Buck and Lena. It wasn’t like it was difficult. Buck was practically a giant. Eddie huffed a sigh and tried to reign in his annoyance before he could find them.</p><p>It wasn’t Buck or Lena’s fault that he had had a terrible morning.</p><p>He spun on his heel and marched back through the doors into the lobby and stopped when he spotted Lena standing off to the side. Eddie glared at her barely contained amusement about the fact that he’d apparently walked right past her.</p><p>“What are you guys---” He started before a familiar giggle caught his attention.</p><p>With a gust, Eddie felt all the irritation and fluster and stress rush out of him with the rest of the tense oxygen he’d been holding in his chest.</p><p>Buck was kneeling in front of a very entertained Christopher who was smiling that beautiful grin of his that lit up his whole face.</p><p>“Well, let’s see that Superman strength,” Buck said.</p><p>He held up his hand and Chris punched into his palm with all his might. Buck gasped and feigned falling over in shock as he held his hand. Chris covered his mouth to stifle his laugh and Eddie tried not to sway with the warm feeling that was circling around him at the sight. </p><p>Eddie didn’t think Chris noticed the dark circles under Buck’s eyes but Eddie certainly did. He must have had another nightmare.</p><p>As if reading his thoughts, Lena leaned over until only he could hear her.</p><p>“Rough night,” she said.</p><p>No one would’ve guessed if they saw Buck putting on a show of shaking his hand out and making Eddie’s kid laugh. He’d been hoping Buck had been getting better. The selfish part of him had even gone so far as to think that their… whatever… they had was helping a little. Buck was smiling more and talking faster and stepping out of his shell without being prompted.</p><p>But there wasn’t a lot Eddie could do to help Buck outrun himself.</p><p>“If you have a castle,” Christopher asked, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “How come you live here?”</p><p>Eddie moved to intervene but Buck seemed to take Chris’s question all in stride.</p><p>“Well,” Buck said. “I haven’t really been feeling well.”</p><p>“How come?”</p><p>“I don’t really like myself lately so I came to stay with my family to try and get better.”</p><p>Chris nodded sagely. “Family is supposed to make you feel better.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Chris said. “When I’m sad my dad hugs me really tight. He says he can squish out all the bad feelings.”</p><p>Buck cut a glance over at Eddie, biting off a smirk that had Eddie blushing from head to toe.</p><p>“Does it work?” He asked Chris.</p><p>But instead of answering, Chris dropped the hem of his shirt and threw his arms around Buck’s neck in a tight hug. Surprise colored Buck’s face but instead of the panic Eddie’d seen when the crowd had grabbed him, something soft settled over Buck's expression, and he turned his head to hug Christopher back.</p><p>The warm something pooled in Eddie’s chest. Something dangerous and addicting and all too close to the emotions he’d been fighting off ever since that night he’d heard Buck’s laugh. The hug lasted a little longer than necessary but Chris was using all his strength to squeeze out the bad feelings and Buck didn’t seem interested in breaking the contact anytime soon. When it finally ended, Chris pulled back and placed his hands on Buck’s shoulders to stay upright.</p><p>“Do you feel better?”</p><p>A wet smile broke across Buck’s face as he nodded. “Yeah buddy. That made me feel all better.”</p><hr/><p>“So,” Buck said after they’d spent a couple hours decompressing from their morning workout and the few errands they had to run to prepare for the state dinner the following week. “I really hope I didn’t kill your grandma.”</p><p>Eddie barked out a laugh as he remembered his abuela’s face when she’d hurried in to collect Chris only to come face to face with his new buddy, His Royal Highness, Prince Evan.</p><p>“You didn’t.” Eddie assured him while he dragged his controller to the left like it would help spur his car faster. “I’m already getting yelled at via text about how skinny you are. Apparently, I’m letting you wither away to nothing.”</p><p>Buck groaned as he overtook Eddie’s lead with a sneak attack. “Not you guys too. Athena and the tailor are already lecturing me about my tux not fitting.”</p><p>It’d been in the oddly specific details in Buck’s dossier that he lost and gained weight quickly--- along with a note about his overnight google binging--- but it still was a little alarming to witness first hand. Which was partially why they were surrounded by the remains of their McDonald’s feast Buck’s tailor had all but ordered him to have as he took in his tuxedo pants.</p><p>But despite their obvious tutting, Athena and Bobby weren’t worried so Eddie added it onto the list of things he couldn’t control. Besides, Buck wasn’t exactly turning into a wilting flower. Not from the toned muscles Eddie couldn’t help but run his hands over and over again during one of their many make out sessions.</p><p>They fell into another comfortable silence as Eddie circled around Buck’s player and sped by with a masterful twist of his controller before Buck spoke again.</p><p>“So,” Buck said, drawing out the word with a swooping cadence of his accent. “What are you wearing?”</p><p>“The same suit you saw me in last week,” Eddie said, not thinking too much as he focused on beating Buck in the game.</p><p>But then with a cartoon whoop, Buck’s avatar crashed into a barrel and before Eddie could glance his way, his lap was suddenly full of long limbs and hot skin. Buck circled his arms around Eddie’s neck and pinned his hips to the couch cushion beneath them.</p><p>“I meant,” Buck said, his eyes dark. “What are you wearing to the dinner?”</p><p>Before Eddie could answer, Buck’s lips were on his in a tender, sweet version of their normal kisses. Careful. Hesitant.</p><p><em>Rough night. </em>That’s what Lena had said. He never wanted to betray Buck’s trust but Lena needed to know about the nightmares so they weren’t running in every night with their guns drawn.</p><p>Eddie didn’t know a lot about Buck’s dreams but he knew from experience how the whole world could feel like it was one strong breeze from making you float away and no one would know to look to hold onto you before you drifted too far. So, Eddie pressed back into the kiss, tilting his head up to meet Buck as he deepened the kiss with his tongue. He pressed his palms up Buck’s ribs before curling his arms around his waist and pulled him close. Buck responded perfectly, the tension easing away as he melted beneath Eddie’s touch. He tasted like the salt from their fries and Eddie licked into his mouth until they were breathless.</p><p>Buck gasped when they broke apart but dropped his forehead against Eddie’s as blue, blue eyes searched for something.</p><p>“Tux,” Eddie said, nuzzling into the side of Buck’s face. “We dress according to the dress code of the event.” </p><p>Buck hummed, still withdrawn and quiet, and Eddie could feel the way Buck’s fingers were starting to fidget with the back of his collar.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie said when it felt more like Buck was hiding against him.</p><p>He bullied Buck to lean back and ducked down so he could catch his eye when it became clear that he was getting lost in his head again.</p><p>Christopher’s hug had done wonders in pulling that haunted look that had settled on Buck’s shoulders off for a little bit and Eddie could tell part of the reason he was seeing so much of Buck like this was because it’d been a rough night and he was tired but it was still painful to watch. Almost as painful as knowing when Buck was putting on an act to hide from everyone else.</p><p>He didn’t have to hide from Eddie though, and Eddie would keep repeating that until he was blue in the face.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>Buck’s hands felt heavy settled on Eddie’s shoulders but he sighed and met Eddie’s gaze for a moment before it flicked back over his shoulder.</p><p>“It’s… going to be a lot… I—” Buck bit his words off with a grimace. “There’s going to be a lot of… attention on me.”</p><p>And Eddie could make a joke because while Buck may be stateside hiding out, he certainly thrived under attention. Aside from the disastrous ending, he’d soared working the rope line at the hospital. But Eddie also knew the difference between receiving attention and being the center of attention and while the state dinner wasn’t in Buck’s honor, Buck being there certainly had a lot to do with it.</p><p>“I don’t understand,” Eddie said instead because he could joke but it would’ve been like rubbing salt into an open wound.</p><p>Buck groaned and dropped to hide his head back against Eddie’s shoulder.</p><p>He rubbed a hand up and down his long spine and scratched a little at the small hairs at the nape of Buck’s neck. Buck hummed and kissed his neck in thanks.</p><p>“Talk to me, Buck,” Eddie said.</p><p>He felt the hot ghost of Buck’s breath as he huffed against him.</p><p>“There’s just going to be a lot of people.”</p><p>There was something in the way he said that, the way the words croaked a little as if they were forcing themselves out of Buck’s throat, that had Eddie’s senses on alert. But Buck was practically falling asleep on top of him and Eddie was sure he could use a nap above Eddie’s prying so he folded.</p><p>“I’ll be right beside you. All night,” Eddie said and that must have been what Buck needed to hear because he collapsed against Eddie like his strings had been cut.</p><p>“Thank you,” Buck whispered and curled closer against Eddie’s chest.</p><p>They stayed like that for a while. Close and unmoving until their breathing synced and Buck’s back rose with Eddie’s chest. He kept his arms around Buck and held him tighter as the rain outside picked up again.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Buck asked, tired and unsure like he thought he was asking too much.</p><p>And maybe he was. It was one thing to make out like teenagers every chance they got. They’d already crossed that line long ago and they would hardly be the first. But it was an entirely different thing that they were doing now. There was something thrumming beneath the surface as they cuddled on the couch like a regular… well, like a couple. Which they weren’t. But they weren’t meaningless either. Eddie was meant to protect Buck. He was meant to lay down his life for him if it came down to it. They were wading into a world of complicated feelings and Eddie knew from experience how hard those were for him to navigate.</p><p>The responsible thing would be for him to put his foot down.</p><p>But then Eddie was reminded by the sharp tug in his chest every time he so much as took a wrong turn in those endless blue eyes or the stuttering stalling of his heart whenever a smiled crept onto Buck’s face.</p><p>Eddie could end it but he didn’t want to.</p><p>He pulled Buck out from his hiding place again and eased the tension away from Buck’s face with his thumb.</p><p>“I’m okay with this,” Eddie said. “If you’re okay with this.”</p><p>They were both adults. They both had to trust that the other knew what they were doing.</p><p>A small, bashful smile broke across Buck’s face as he nodded.</p><p>“I’m very okay with this.”</p><p>It wasn't exactly a talk and it certainly wasn't the one two grown adults should have had but it was enough. </p><p>“Then good.”</p><p>And then Eddie leaned up to kiss Buck and it somehow felt like the most perfect and the most reckless thing Eddie had ever done.</p><hr/><p>Sometimes, Eddie really enjoyed his job and one of those times was when he’d been briefed by the President’s detail that he and Bosko would need their running gear for a little secret excursion that Buck didn’t know about. Eddie kept silent as he opened the door for Bobby as the president strolled into the room. He almost would’ve felt bad because Buck was burrowed under his quilt after having slept through the night. Almost.</p><p>“Rise and shine, Buck,” Bobby said as he threw the covers back. “We’re going for a run!”</p><p>Buck jerked awake, his face all blurry eyed and mean looking as he glared up at Bobby, and Eddie bit his lip to keep quiet as the prince took in the president decked out in sweat pants and a wind breaker. A noise left Buck’s lips as he sat up and shoved a fist into his eye and rubbed which was apparently all Bobby needed to hear before he was turning on his heel and walking out.</p><p>“Be out in twenty or I’ll have the Secret Service drag you out,” Bobby called over his shoulder as he left.</p><p>“I’m going to go stretch,” Lena said, not even bothering to hide her amusement as she circled out.</p><p>It took everything in Eddie not to laugh at the very adorable pout on Buck’s face. The curls were wild and wirey on his head and the blue eyes were in slits as he glared after Bobby and then back at Eddie.</p><p>“I thought your job was to protect me.” Buck grumbled, his voice still thick with sleep and betrayal.</p><p>Eddie did laugh at that and Buck’s pout deepened.</p><p>His pout, however, turned into a dopey smile as Eddie held out the warm cup of coffee he had snagged from the kitchen.</p><p>“Get up,” Eddie said, leaning over and smoothing back the curls before kissing Buck’s hairline like it was the most natural thing in the world. Buck froze for a moment and then melted into the touch with what could only be described as a pathetic purr before he hid his face in the mug of coffee.</p><p>It was the exact opposite of the picturesque prince that the world saw and if Eddie took a few more minutes to leech some of the heat from Buck then no one had to know.</p><p>The run was a nice change of pace and Eddie threw a grin at Lena as they followed behind Buck and Bobby in an easy jog. DC was damp with a heavy mist in the morning air. When you ran in the epicenter of a forty man formation and three car motorcade it was almost easy to fall into the façade that the city was still quietly sleeping. The National Mall was deceptive in its design. The Lincoln Memorial didn’t seem far from The Washington Monument but there was a good mile and half distance for a run. It was another two and half miles to the Capitol Building. But nothing beat the view of the Reflecting Pool in the morning as the sun struggled to break through the misty fog. The length around the Reflecting Pool was almost four miles and the perfect place to get a few laps in without the risk of being run over on the sidewalk or hit by a car in the busy metro streets.</p><p>Bobby and Buck kept up a steady pace. They were silent as their matching plumes of stream huffed past their lips as they jogged around the length of the Pool. They were quiet in the way people who were truly comfortable with each other were. The comfortable silence people find when they connect with someone who knew every inch of their being. The good, the bad, and the dark parts in between. And if Eddie had to tackle someone to keep that serenity cloaked over Bobby and Buck a little bit longer, he would.</p><p>It was around the sixth lap that Eddie started to feel the burn in his thighs as they turned a corner and Buck and Bobby slowed to a walk.</p><p>“Another lap and I may not walk for a month,” Bobby said.</p><p>“You’re getting old, Bobby.” Buck quipped even though he was equally out of breath.</p><p>Bobby choked out a laugh and clapped Buck on the shoulder as they curved towards the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and dropped in a huff side by side.</p><p>Eddie and Lena nodded to Bobby’s team and positioned themselves to Buck’s side with Bosko at his flank and Eddie a step away to grab him if necessary. But for two people surrounded by trained agents already mapping out four escape routes to the closet vehicle in the motorcade, Buck and Bobby were lost in their own world of adrenaline and a beautiful, quiet morning.</p><p>“I never got to ask how your visit to your mother’s wing was,” Bobby said.</p><p>Buck shot him an incredulous look which... fair. Eddie didn’t have to see Lena to know she was tense because Eddie was too. The press room had been quiet on their hasty exit after Chim’s briefings and the Director supported Lena and Eddie’s assessment of the instance but, there wasn’t a “situation” Bobby didn’t know about his godson even when Buck was abroad.</p><p>“Come on! Athena told me they had a mural in her honor.” Bobby pressed.</p><p>And it was like a damn had cracked open and formed a river of information because suddenly Buck was lighting up in a way Eddie hadn’t seen before as he described, not just every inch of the ward, but also all the new technology that the Children’s National Hospital was bringing in to assist rare diseases Eddie hadn’t even heard of before. It was like Buck had swallowed the entire company of Google and was throw fact after fact of the scientific advancements being made in pediatric medicine.</p><p>It wasn’t until Buck caught himself midsentence in a rant about programs that could be made to help low income children that it seemed like he even took a breath. Buck inhaled and his face colored as he let out a nervous laugh on the exhale.</p><p>Eddie didn’t know why. With the way Buck was just talking, he would’ve put top DC lobbyist to shame and Eddie would know. You couldn’t sip a cup of coffee without hearing someone pleading their case on their phone or having to dodge a sidewalk pitch as the Hill buzzed with activity.</p><p>“I--- Sorry,” Buck said with a duck of his head. “It was just a really informative trip.”</p><p>But Bobby shook his head and swung his arm around Buck’s shoulders.</p><p>“Your mom would’ve been so proud of you, kiddo,” Bobby said with a sigh.</p><p>It was a nice sentiment but for some reason Buck shut down a little. Bobby shook Buck with a squeeze.</p><p>“She would.”</p><p>Buck shrugged out from Bobby’s arm and curled forward until he could rest his arms on his knees.</p><p>“How do you know?” Buck said, soft and vulnerable, and the opposite of the confident, excited Buck who had just been passionately championing the need for more basic hygiene stations in schools in third world countries.</p><p>“Because I am,” Bobby said.</p><p>Eddie couldn’t see Buck’s expression from where he’d tucked it down but he could see Bobby’s.</p><p>Bobby’s face was light in the familiar way Eddie knew in his heart. It was the same way he would get whenever Christopher showed him his newest Lego creation on the rare afternoons that he had off when it was just the two of them. When you have a kid, nothing in the world could keep the brightness away whenever you were awed by the mere pride that they were a living breathing piece of you grinning back at them.</p><p>There wasn’t a feeling in the world that could compete.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was so hard to write! Next up: the state dinner!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Week Four: The State Dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The state dinner and where Eddie learns how heavy the head that wears the crown can be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wow,” Eddie whistled as Lena strutted down the hallway. “Okay Bosko! Show up the rest of us.”</p><p>Lena shrugged with a smug eye roll as she gave him a short twirl. The Secret Service dressed according to the dress code which meant tuxedos for black tie events. But female agents were still a very rare occurrence in the agency so Lena had been given a little more leniency to decide on what to wear that would allow her to do her job efficiently as necessary. Her long legs accentuated the normally boxy look of tuxedo pants that tightened around her waist under a cummerbund. Her white tuxedo shirt and black blazer smoothed out the hard muscles along her shoulders and the red carnation pinned to her tight bun added a bit of color to the look. Give her a cigarette and she would’ve looked like Katherine Hepburn posing for PEOPLE magazine.</p><p>“Looking sharp,” Lena said as she approached with an appreciative raking of her eyes up and down Eddie.</p><p>Eddie pretended to flick off a piece of lint on his lapel. It wasn’t often that he and Lena got to dress up for such events. They were usually roaming the perimeter throughout the evening but this dinner would be different.</p><p>Lena held up the metal briefcase handcuffed to her wrist. “He ready?”</p><p>Eddie nodded and gave the door a sharp knock before opening.</p><p>Walking into Buck’s room was a little bit like walking into a wedding gone wrong. Buck’s room was packed with so many people it was almost dizzying. One man was on his knees by Buck’s leg and fiddling with the hem of his pants while another woman was on a stool behind Buck and working her pomade covered fingers through his hair as her assistant dabbed concealer to the shadows under Buck’s eyes. Someone else was steaming out the sleeves of Buck’s suit jacket and Eddie was pretty sure he saw two other people disappear into Buck’s bathroom. Add Eddie and Lena to the mix and it was a miracle they could even get the door shut.</p><p>And in the center of all the chaos was one prince holding up his phone to whine to his sister.</p><p>“Harry doesn’t have to wear one!”</p><p>Maddie scoffed. “Harry is retired, Buck. Besides, you’re there to represent me and if I was there, I’d have to wear one.”</p><p>“But you aren’t here and you know who is going to be here? Harry,” Buck pressed his point. “And you know who is going to make fun of me the whole night? <em>Harry!”</em></p><p>Buck peered over his shoulder and spotted Eddie and Lena in the door way and groaned.</p><p>“Oh, is it there? Let me see it on!” Maddie’s voice rang throughout the room.</p><p>“Bye Maddie,” Buck grumbled as Lena held up the briefcase.</p><p>“Wait!” Maddie cried from her end, squinting into the screen before gasping. “Buck, is that him?”</p><p>“<em>Bye Maddie!” </em></p><p>Buck’s face turned an adorable red as he hung up the Facetime call with his sister before he cut a quick glance at Eddie. It didn't take a genius to figure out who Buck's sister had been talking about and Eddie pointedly didn't pay attention to the warm fluttery feelings that bubbled in his chest at the idea that Buck thought Eddie was significant enough to tell his sister about.  </p><p>Buck pressed his thumb against the briefcase and stepped back once the locks deactivated. </p><p>The woman that had been doing Buck’s hair swooped in to replace him with a pair of gloves on her hands as she pulled the apparent hotly debated object from the brief case. Once Lena was free from the cuff, she returned to stand at Eddie’s side.</p><p>Buck grumbled under his breath as he let the dressers slip on his suit jacket before he positioned himself in front of the mirror by the step stool again. Buck’s hairdresser climbed up behind him, staring intently at Buck’s reflection, before she lifted the circlet to the crown of Buck’s head.</p><p>A hush fell over the room as the golden crown settled above Buck’s brow. It was simple in design from far away but up close you could see the intricate lacework of gold twisted in complicated lattice around the frame. Spaced across the band were shimmering teardrop cut sapphires surrounded by small halos of clean diamonds. The gemstones sparkled across Buck’s brow and highlighted the brightness in his blue, blue eyes.</p><p>Now, dripping in regality, Buck's eyes really did sparkle. </p><p>“I look like an idiot,” Buck said, breaking the spell that had hypnotized everyone in the room with his laughable pout.</p><p>Lena snorted which was followed by several denials from everyone else except the hair stylist who was trying to tame down a stray curl that stubbornly fought back against her insistent fingers. For someone who was decked out in all his glory, Buck was adorable in his inability to see how good he looked. The state dinner was a black tie affair but it was superstitious for the royal family to wear black any other time than in mourning in Buck’s country. His tuxedo jacket had been swapped out for a deep navy blue one the accentuated the depths of the sapphires on his crown and the gold cufflinks with the royal crest at his wrists. The cut was tailored to show off the tapering slimness of his waist from his wide broad shoulders and his pants hugged Buck’s hips in an almost sinful but tasteful way. Eddie absolutely refused to look at his ass because if he did then they wouldn’t be able to get through the evening.</p><p>Buck looked as royal and as magnificent as an Olympian on a throne at the top of a mountain.</p><p>But Buck also picked up that cagey, insecurity that rippled off him in waves and the fists at his side barely hid the small tremors in them.</p><p>“Give us the room,” Eddie ordered, catching Buck’s gaze and holding it.</p><p>Surprisingly, everyone listened and soon they were the only ones left as Lena closed the door behind her.</p><p>Buck grimaced and Eddie could actually see him physically stop himself from fidgeting.</p><p>“Maddie’s decision.” Buck pointed to his crown. </p><p>Eddie shoved his fists into his pockets and shrugged.</p><p>“Older sisters are bullies.”</p><p>Buck rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Try older and the sovereign.” He frowned. “Well, soon to be anyway.”</p><p>Buck’s fingers latched together in a tangle of his hands in front of him and he eyed Eddie like he was bracing for… something. Eddie didn’t know what. He didn’t know if Buck thought Eddie was going to laugh at him or what but he’d learned in the month he’d been watching over him that Buck needed time to diffuse his own self-destructive bomb of thoughts himself first.</p><p>So, Eddie waited and kept himself in front of the door for Buck to wallow in the space he needed to build up his persona again.</p><p>Buck dropped his gaze to his hands and shifted his feet before he looked back up at Eddie.</p><p>“I look ridiculous,” Buck said with a halfhearted laugh that did nothing to hide the slight, panicked wobble of his lower lip.</p><p>Eddie crossed the room in three quick strides and cupped Buck’s cheeks in his hands before that chin could drop down again.</p><p>“You look incredible.”</p><p>Buck tried to shake his head but Eddie held his face. It still amazed him how someone so bright, so full of life and laughter, could also be so misguidedly insecure. Eddie pulled Buck down, careful to avoid wrinkling Buck’s suit, and kissed him soft and sweet.</p><p>“You're.”</p><p>A kiss to the side of his mouth.</p><p>“Stunning.”</p><p>A kiss to his cheek.</p><p>“As.”</p><p>A kiss to his nose.</p><p>“Always.”</p><p>And another kiss on his lips to finish.</p><p>Buck’s lips slipped into a small smile and it wasn’t the brightest it could be but it was something. Eddie pressed his forehead against Buck’s, rubbing his thumb on his smooth, shaved cheek, and inhaled the spiced, smoky scent of his cologne.</p><p>Buck released a shaky exhale and melted under his touch.</p><p>“Harry is going to laugh at me,” Buck grumbled still.</p><p>“I will fight the Duke of Sussex myself if he does,” Eddie said.</p><p>Another shaky exhale and Buck nodded.</p><p>“I’ll be right behind you all night,” Eddie said when he felt the tension settle on Buck’s shoulders again. “Say the word and Lena and I can swoop right in.”</p><p>Pomegranate was not an easy word to slip into casual conversation but it was one that Lena and Eddie were prepared to listen for if Buck needed someone to come and excuse him from an encounter that etiquette dictated that he couldn’t end. Even the Queen of England had nifty little handle signals with her purse whenever she needed someone to come rescue her from an awkward conversation.</p><p>But Eddie got it. This would be Buck’s first public appearance on a world stage since going into hiding. People from all over the world would be watching his every move as Buck represented his sister at the event. It was a lot of pressure and this time around, there weren’t any cute kids to hide behind.</p><p>
  <em>“Buck’s the real me.”</em>
</p><p>The clothes, the crown, all of it was a mask. Buck had to stay inside this room where Eddie’s hands could touch him intimately like this. His Royal Highness, Prince Evan would need to step outside where he couldn't be seen leaning against his bodyguard for support.</p><p>“I don’t know how you expect me to keep my hands to myself when you’re dressed like James Bond,” Buck said, his voice low and his hands hot as he ran them up and down Eddie’s chest.</p><p>Eddie leaned in to kiss him, teasing his lips with his tongue, before stepping back the moment Buck’s mouth opened with a smirk.</p><p>He wasn’t the only one… the things Eddie could think of doing with Buck’s tie… but no. They couldn’t hide the night away making out on Buck’s couch no matter how much they wanted to. The moment Buck stepped out the door he would be on official royal duty.  </p><p>“Well, you’re going to have to. There’s press tonight.”</p><p>Buck rolled his eyes as he groaned. “I don’t even care. I’m being serious! Half the time I literally could be walking next to someone and suddenly, I’ve got a secret kid and a love affair that my sister doesn’t approve of coming out. There’s probably already one with you in it.”</p><p>Something tight coiled in Eddie’s chest at that but he swallowed that down with a clearing of his throat.</p><p>“You ready for this?”</p><p>Buck frowned but straightened his jacket anyway.</p><p>“No but let’s go.”</p><hr/><p>The Duke of Sussex did, indeed, laugh when Buck slipped into the party but his wife, the Duchess, was quick to shush him with a swat of her clutch purse. It was all in good fun. Buck and Harry were cousins… somehow in a line of twisted complicated relations that went as far back as Victoria. Granted, almost all European royal houses could tie themselves back to Victoria but that was beside the point.</p><p>The whole evening was a series of performative gestures. While the evening wasn’t in Buck’s honor, he was one of the two people standing in for his sister along with an ambassador who was some kind of upstart for being one of the youngest women to accept the job. She ultimately would be taking over most of the heavy lifting for the night but Buck was still mostly there as a symbol of Maddie’s reign. It was weird watching Buck---someone who was so alive and so animated under his hands; someone so real that Eddie had the pattern of his breath memorized--- walk around like a prized jewel on display at a museum. Buck was the face for the new era his sister would bring after her coronation and the whole dinner was meant to show the world the strength of their two nations.</p><p>But Eddie couldn’t help but feel like Buck was also a little bit of a sacrificial lamb.</p><p>Eddie and Lena followed Buck and his ambassador into a long glamorous limousine that circled around the block--- Buck was staying at the Residence and not the Blair House so it wasn’t like it was a long trip---to make a grand entrance for the press at the North Portico which was dressed dictated by formal protocol. A full colour and honor guard stood straight in full dress uniform behind the President and First Lady. Buck was greeted by the White House Social Secretary which was promptly drowned out by the thousands of camera shutters snapping. Buck buttoned his jacket before he turned to extend a hand down to the ambassador. Everything was rehearsed and expected but that didn’t seem to ease the detached sort of expression on Buck’s face during it all.</p><p>Buck and Bobby shook hands and Eddie wasn’t close enough to hear what he said but it was enough for Buck’s smile to turn a little less royal and a little more real. Eddie and Lena kept out of the way up at the doorway as the group posed for the photos from the press before they turned for the informal reception in the Yellow Oval Room.</p><p>Buck kept his gaze straight as the party passed through the entrance together but his pinky finger wandered to brush against Eddie’s knuckle in the speed it took for a single heartbeat.</p><p>Eddie released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and fought down a grin.</p><p>The cocktail hour in the Yellow Oval Room served as a kind of a prelude to the beginning the evening. Diplomats, celebrities, ambassadors, and select members of Congress were pressed together in small groups as waiters with champagne flutes and hor d’oeuvres weaved in and around the room.</p><p>Normally the Secret Service went out of their way to make themselves invisible at these kinds of events. No one wanted to talk about international policy and then gossip about the prime minister with their bodyguards hovering behind them. But since Buck was currently carrying irreplaceable gemstones on his head, Eddie and Lena moved with him as he worked the room. They still gave him space but they deterred anyone from getting any ideas about touching, that’s for sure.</p><p>Shadows rather than invisible.</p><p>Buck was currently charming the bored wife of a freshman Congressmen who was too busy making his way through his fourth glass of champagne to work up the nerve to go talk to the President from the way he was eying Bobby from across the room.</p><p>“Eddie!”</p><p> Hen and Chim, both dressed to the nines and both about two glasses of champagne in by the level of their actual giggles, hurried over to him and Lena.</p><p>“Settle a bet for us,” Hen said with a tip of her glass in Buck’s direction. “How many times has he snuck off?”</p><p>Eddie frowned because Hen and Chim had been in the same room as him for the last hour already. The champagne was good but not that good.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“How many times has Buck snuck away from his protection detail since he’s been here?”</p><p>“None.”</p><p>To be fair, Eddie didn’t really give him a chance. He knew Buck had a history of sneaking out but he’d always attributed that to the restlessness that he was becoming familiar with whenever the anxiety plagued the night. That’d been the whole point of their late night gym visits anyway.</p><p>But Hen and Chim stopped and stared at him like he'd just told them that he was going to give up his career to go join the circus. He was too busy watching Buck quietly trying to encourage the Congressman to dive too deep into reading what those expression meant though. </p><p>Hen smirked and took a coy drink of her champagne while Chim rolled his tongue against his cheek with a quiet, “Huh.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Lena,” Hen asked with a knowing tilted of her head to the other agent. “How many times has Buck snuck off while you’ve been lead agent?”</p><p>“Three. Why?”</p><p>Lena shrugged at Eddie’s glare because <em>he hadn’t known that </em>and made a show of clocking an actress that had been trying to corner Buck all night.</p><p>“He didn’t make it past the grounds.” Lena added as they watched the circling vulture of a woman finally make her move and tuck herself at Buck’s side.</p><p>Buck smiled down at her--- not with one of the smiles Eddie had grown used to receiving; not a real Buck smile--- and seemed to say something that was enough to charm her from smitten to hungry in a matter of a few words. She threw her head back and laughed, using the momentum to step closer into Buck’s space.</p><p>Something hot and tight settled across Eddie’s skin as he watched her settle a hand into the crook of his elbow like he was something to claim.  </p><p>“Interesting,” Chim hummed, taking Eddie in again. “Very interesting.”</p><p>“We’re going to have to start a new bet,” Hen murmured but Eddie heard her anyway.</p><p>He rolled his eyes and thanked whoever was watching out that Buck had turned in time to catch Eddie’s eye with a desperate sort of plea as Buck started wondering out loud if they were going to serve a pomegranate tart for dessert.</p><hr/><p>After the reception in the Yellow Oval Room, Buck was shuffled away with the ambassador to wait for Athena and Bobby for their entrance at the Grand Staircase. The press would be entertained with the rest of the guests cutting across a red carpet of sorts to the Entrance Hall long enough for the group to have a quick breather. Athena was getting her make up touched up while Bobby and the ambassador seemed to be catching up with their mutual love of cooking which left Buck to tempt all of Eddie’s self resolve.</p><p>Buck was leaning against the wall, looking like sin and smiling at Eddie with a drunk look on his face. He wasn’t; Buck had told Eddie all about the discreet tricks the royals had up their sleeve to avoid getting caught milking one drink for the night so they weren't too inebriated to embarrass the crown. But the hazy, relaxed way he was holding himself was like a very tired version of a cat in the sun.</p><p>“You look like you’re about to nap standing up,” Eddie said as he walked up beside him.</p><p>Buck hummed and dropped his head back against the wall, baring his long neck. He grimaced as the weight of the crown must have pushed uncomfortably against his scalp and lifted his head back up again.</p><p>Heavy is the head that wears a crown, Eddie supposed.</p><p>Lena had gone ahead to station herself at the foot of the stairs where she would meet Buck and shadow him to his table before giving the signal for Eddie to make his way down to them.</p><p>“Hey, do you have to head home right away tonight?”</p><p>Eddie shook his head. “Nah, Chris is with my abuela. Why?”</p><p>Buck bounced his brows suggestively.</p><p>“You want to go for the title after?”</p><p>“You seriously want to play videos games? You were about to fall asleep like two seconds ago.”</p><p>But Buck shrugged.</p><p>“Eh, I’m usually amped up after one of these things,” he said with a roll of his shoulders. “We could get some beers and some real food.”</p><p>He was saying it all with this quiet, murmuring breathy quality to his voice. Like he was trying so hard to appear nonchalant but the quick twitching of his fingers gave him away.</p><p>Buck was exhausted but he wouldn’t be getting to sleep any time soon. Maybe a few rounds of video games would help.</p><p>“Sure,” Eddie said with a nod of his head and stepped back so that Buck could stand at his full height again.</p><p>That pinky finger tapped on his knuckle again and if Buck saw Eddie almost melt he didn’t show it. The thousand watt smile was back on his face and he was stepping up to stand beside Athena with his arm out.</p><p>“You look very handsome tonight, Buckaroo,” Athena murmured to Buck with a pat of his arm.</p><p>“Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer called as applause began. “President Robert Nash and Mrs. Athena Grant accompanied by His Royal Highness, Prince Evan and Ambassador Felicity Dupont.”</p><p>Four ruffles and flourishes introduced <em>Hail to the Chief </em>which was immediately followed by Buck’s national anthem before Bobby was introducing his guests himself to the crowd down below. Eddie, trapped at the top of the staircase couldn't even see Buck anymore, but he could still feel him like he was standing centimeters away.</p><p>His heart thundered against his chest in time with the pulsing memory of Buck’s finger on his knuckle. You would’ve thought making out like a couple of teenagers would’ve done it but no, a simple touch was the thing that was knocking Eddie from reality into a surreal---</p><p>Not a swoon.</p><p>He was not swooning.</p><p>But he was feeling something.</p><p>That much he couldn’t deny.</p><hr/><p>Speeches, music, more speeches, and finally dinner was served and Eddie and Lena were able to swap out to grab a small plate from the kitchen.</p><p>The ambassador was the one to give most of the speeches but there was no question that everyone was unabashedly watching Buck. A small amount of press were only allowed access to the State Dining Room during the speeches in a sequestered area in the back but every time Buck so much as sparkled with his crown and smile, the snapping of photographs seemed to intensify the volume of the room like locus swarming the area. Eddie had heard a few reporters attempting to strong arm Chimney into arranging for Buck to have his own private receiving line of sorts but Chimney had been quick to shoot those hopes down. But that was the thing about reporters, Eddie guessed. It was their job to ask even if they knew the answer.</p><p>A hush fell over the room as Buck rose from his seat after the salad course. Buck buttoned his jacket with an easy flick of his hand and cleared his throat as he headed towards the podium.</p><p>“It’s weird, right?” Lena whispered as she followed Buck’s path with her eyes. “He’s been hiding out for so long and now it’s like he’s been dropped into a fishbowl.”</p><p>“Are you calling the President’s godson a goldfish?” Eddie asked with a quirk of his lips.</p><p>Lena snorted and schooled her expression. But Eddie understood what she meant. His skin had felt tight all evening as they followed after Buck. Eddie had gotten used to the feeling of standing in front of Buck from the rest of the world; shielding when he needed a minute to breathe and pulling him back to earth when they were alone and Buck was so lost in his head. It felt wrong to go so long only to step aside for the public to devour every inch of the prince like he was their own.</p><p>Though, Eddie, guessed in a way Buck was.</p><p>Buck had been the American prince since the moment he’d been born and that hype had only escalated the further Bobby climbed in his career. The outpouring of support had been overwhelming as the number of tourists that flocked to the city had doubled in size. Local business had made food and memorabilia just in Buck's honor. The White House had gone into lock down twice since Buck had arrived because of some over eager admirer had tried to climb the fence to catch even a glimpse of him. </p><p>Buck was the flame and they were all just moths circling him.</p><p>But as well-meaning as everyone was, Eddie almost wished they could see the Buck he saw. The tired, stressed, haunted Buck. Wished they could understand that he just needed a break so that everyone would leave him alone and stop pressing for more from him.</p><p>Almost.</p><p>A selfish part of Eddie, the part that he refused to acknowledge, didn’t want to share that side of Buck with anyone. He wanted to hoard those soft curls and soft smiles for himself. He wanted to stockpile every sigh Buck made when Eddie’s hands caressed his face as their make out turned into something sweeter. He wanted to collect every laugh he heard at the gym for himself.</p><p>Buck was running from himself but he was running from everyone else too.</p><p>He’d given something away at some point and had been left with a hole in his soul that couldn’t be patched. Every time he tried, the world would just poke it until the bandage fell through again.</p><p>“Good evening,” Buck said into the microphone, his voice rough with his accent that curled his lips into a prince charming smile for the room to devour.</p><p>The lights aimed at the podium made Buck’s head shimmer with the glistening diamonds and sapphires like he was a dream.</p><p>“It brings me great pleasure to be here with you tonight on behalf of my sister, her majesty, the Queen.” Buck took a beat to shift the weight of his body from one foot to the other, the only true show of how nervous he was.</p><p>Eddie didn’t know why. He’d been witness to Buck practicing for hours in his room.</p><p>“As some of you may know, the relationship between our two great nations goes back about twenty-six years when I made my first grand entrance about three rooms over.” A murmured laughter filled the room. “Some would say I’ve made nothing but grand entrances since then. So, I’d first like to raise a glass to your president for not dropping me, I guess.”</p><p>Buck shared a glance at Bobby who barked out another laugh. The crowd chuckled along before breaking out into a small applause that had both prince and president openly snickering at one another. Buck worked the crowd with ease as he shrugged and tossed them an impish smile.</p><p>He was only giving a toast in between courses but every eye was on what Buck would say next. The ambassador spoke for the crown and country but Buck spoke for Maddie that night. He was standing in for a new, young figure head and the promise of change that Maddie was expected to bring was being showcased by Buck’s ability to relate to the room.</p><p>“But in all seriousness,” Buck said when the crowd quieted down. “The diplomatic relationship between my country and yours has withstood the test of time. We have been allies in peace, in war, and in the many parts that are in between. It is one of my sister’s top priorities to continue to cultivate and evolve the bond we share. It is an honor to be here in her stead to represent that friendship.”</p><p>A uniformed navy officer stepped forward with a wine glass on a tray and everyone stood from their seats with their glasses as well.</p><p>“It is my deepest privilege to make a toast to that friendship between our two countries.” Buck finished as he lifted his glass. “To President Nash.”</p><p>“To President Nash.”</p><p>The room chorused back and took a sip of their drinks. Buck lifted his glass again.</p><p>“And to our new queen. Long live the Queen!”</p><p>“Long live the Queen!”</p><p>Lena let out a low whistle and applauded with the rest of the room as Bobby stood up to meet Buck halfway. Buck extended his hand since even saying hello to Bobby that night was official prince business, but Bobby pulled him in for a hug instead.  The crowd --- and the press going by the fervent shutter snapping that filled the room--- ate the public display of affection right up and continued to applaud their embrace.</p><p>Buck’s face was hidden by Bobby’s shoulder but even from across the room Eddie could see that he was smiling one of those soft, big Buck smiles.</p><hr/><p>The rest of dinner was mostly uneventful. The congressmen that Eddie had watched down champagne like it was air at the cocktail hour had to be escorted out after he almost drunkenly fell asleep in the soup but other than that; a room full of rich people eating was still just a room full of people eating.</p><p>Buck passed Eddie and Lena with a barely there grimace on his face as the guests were seated in the East Room.</p><p>“Almost done,” Eddie said, quietly.</p><p>“Drink the rest of that champagne,” Lena said. “The bubbles will help keep you awake during the snooze fest.”</p><p>“Yo-Yo Ma is not a snooze fest,” Chimney said with an offended gasp. “Yo-Yo Ma rules!”</p><p>Which may be true but that didn’t stop the concerned glance Chimney also shot towards the prince. Buck had been on for the duration of the evening but that punch drunk expression was starting to cloak the beautiful blue eyes again.</p><p>He was exhausted and anyone could see it which meant that Buck wasn’t doing as great of a job at hiding it anymore. Eddie was pretty sure he could start to see darker circles under his eyes even with the make-up.</p><p>“Good news, Buckaroo,” Hen said as she sidled up to their growing group. “You and Athena are going to take the first dance after the performance with Bobby and Felicity but then Prince Harry and Meghan are going to swap in for you two. Once that’s done, you can sneak on out of here.”</p><p>Buck frowned. “Are you all trying to tell me I look terrible?”</p><p>“We’re trying to tell you that you’ve done an excellent job tonight and soon it’ll be time for bed,” Chimney amended.</p><p>“I didn’t realize princelings needed a bed time,” a new voice cut in like a smear on a pristine glass.</p><p>Buck’s entire body went rigid and he turned to their eavesdropper. A tall man in an unblemished tuxedo strolled up to the prince with a quirked brow on his forehead. His suit was unnaturally spotless without a wrinkle in sight even with a blood red crest embroidered on the breast pocket.</p><p>But Eddie didn’t need to know the family crest to recognize who had snooped in on their gentle nudging of Buck towards the finish line of the evening.</p><p>Lord Douglas Kendall was the wealthy son of a lowly ranked viscount and former suitor of Buck’s sister. The media and the public had been torn about the relationship. Some had swooned that someone as down to earth could make even a future queen fall in love. Others had accused Kendall of being an ambitious nobody that had no business being anywhere near the beloved royal family. But no one had been too devastated when the relationship fell through. Rumor had it that when Buck had been sixteen, he'd walked in on a heated debate between his sister and Kendall that may have been physical but the rumors were never confirmed or denied.  </p><p>Judging from Buck’s dark expression, Eddie was leaning towards the rumors being true. He stood up straighter and assessed Kendall’s threat level.</p><p>“Doug,” Buck said with a click of his tongue.</p><p>Something hateful flashed across Kendall’s grinning face and he bowed low at his hips.</p><p>“Your serene highness,” Kendall said.</p><p>When Doug rose, there was a smirk on his face and Buck’s nostrils flared. Eddie didn’t have to understand the insult to know there was one and judging from Hen and Chimney’s expressions it had been a big one.</p><p>“Uh, I think you mean---” Chimney started but Doug held up a hand to silence him.</p><p>“You may go,” he said dismissively and without even looking at Chim.</p><p>“You don’t get to tell my friends what to do. Don’t speak to them like that,” Buck said, standing at his full height so that he was even to Doug.</p><p>Eddie didn’t think Buck would start a fight but the temptation was certainly there. Smug amusement caked Doug’s smirk as he shook his head.</p><p>“Even dripping in gold and million-dollar jewels and you still can only make friends with the help. I guess it’s easier to have friends you have to pay to put up with you. Still tragic, I see.”</p><p>Hot furious anger rushed across Eddie’s veins. He was supposed to keep his mouth shut and not get involved. Eddie had been around some of the worst arguments history would never know because at the end of the day his job was to make sure that the argument didn’t turn physical. But this was Buck. Sweet, gorgeous, kind Buck who was openly being disrespected and mocked after floating all night with grace and dignity. Buck, who only hours before, had been shy and insecure in his room because his older sister had bullied him into wearing his status openly.  Buck, who Eddie was only just beginning to realize how devoted he was becoming to and was making Eddie seriously considering losing his job to defend his honor.</p><p>But Buck wasn’t a wilting flower even with the ugly, meanness in Doug’s eyes.</p><p>“Still a penniless dick, I see.” Buck bit back.</p><p>Eddie knew guys like Doug. You didn’t work in Washington and not pass by at least three different types of Doug a day. Dougs were like a hot pressure cooker left out unattended in the sun. They were all ego that demanded respect.  </p><p>Bullies.</p><p>And nothing set off a bully like being called out in front of an audience.</p><p>Doug’s smirk dropped and he turned furious as he stepped forward but Buck didn’t even flinch.</p><p>“Honestly, Kendall, you could take a swing at me and it’d maybe cause some tabloid fuss but not an international incident. But then my friend, Eddie, here,” Buck said with an easy hand in Eddie’s direction. “Would have to tackle you to the ground and then detain you so maybe rethink what you’re about to do before you look like an even bigger asshole than you already do.”</p><p>Doug’s temper was thundering as they physically watched him restrain himself. Eddie almost wished he would. He stepped in front of Buck with ease and gave Doug a little wave of his hand.</p><p>“I believe they’re wanting you to take your seat, sir,” Eddie said and taking on the heat of Doug’s glare.</p><p>A furious snarl curled at Doug’s lip.</p><p>“You and your sister will never get a seat at the table. Never.”</p><p>“Pretty sure I already have. I’ll be sitting next to the President. Have fun at the kids table though.”</p><p>And with that, Buck turned and walked away with Lena, Hen, and Chim following after him. Eddie stood as still as a fortified statue, shielding Buck’s retreat, and staring up at Lord Kendall with a neutral expression.</p><p>“The prince is very busy tonight, sir,” Eddie said. “Perhaps you should get yourself some water.”</p><p>“Don’t---”</p><p>“Let me make one thing clear,” Eddie cut him off before he could even begin.</p><p>Doug’s scowl focused on Eddie but met him with a glare of his own. He stepped forward and Doug was smart enough to step back.</p><p>“Leave the prince alone and I won’t have you dragged out of here kicking and screaming by the Secret Service.”</p><p>“You can’t kick me out of a party that I was invited to.” Doug scoffed.</p><p>“Problem here?” Judd’s Texan drawl had a way representing all six foot four inches of the agent even without seeing him.</p><p>Beneath the stern gaze of Judd Ryder, Doug’s glowering flopped back into a pathetic, restrained glower and he hurriedly stormed to his seat at the back of the room.</p><hr/><p>Walking down the hall away from the evening, Buck was practically bouncing on his feet with a renewed kind of energy that Eddie didn’t know where he scrounged up but it was infectious all the same. Eddie and Lena were both grinning as they followed Buck down to the kitchens.</p><p>The kitchen staff were understandably surprised when Buck bounced into the kitchen to thank them for the meal and asked if they had a six pack hiding somewhere.</p><p>Six pack in hand and reaching the Residence, Buck waited until he got to his door before he pulled off his crown.</p><p>“God, this thing gives me a headache.”</p><p>Eddie took his position at the door while Buck put his thumbprint on the briefcase again and secured the crown back into the velvet lined box. The relief agent that was going to take over for Lena gave Eddie a silent nod as he took his place at the end of the hall. Once Lena left he would be officially off duty. The handcuffs slinked around Lena’s wrist as she hefted her cargo back in her hand.</p><p>“Thank you for tonight, Lena,” Buck said. “Have a good day off tomorrow.”</p><p>“You too, Buck,” Lena said with a smile. “Get some sleep.”</p><p>Buck disappeared into the bathroom and Eddie followed Lena out of the room.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie said as he unclipped his radio from his belt. “Could you take my radio for me? I’m going to stick around for a couple rounds of video games.”</p><p>Lena stopped, a weird twist setting in her lips as she eyed Eddie.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Are you sure, Eddie?” Lena asked, casting a hurried glance at the agent at the end of the hall and then back to Eddie.</p><p>“Tonight was rough for him. He just needs to decompress a little.”</p><p>He didn’t really know what Lena was getting at but Lena shook her head.</p><p>“Are you sure, Eddie?” She repeated and Eddie stopped.</p><p>He swore it felt like all his organs froze inside his body as the stunning realization that Lena <em>knew </em>settled onto his shoulders like a heavy weighted cape of dread.</p><p>Lena knew.</p><p>She knew.</p><p>He could tell from her expression that she did.</p><p>Something close to panic kicked started his heart again and the shocked horror must have seeped into his carefully controlled grasp of his facial features because Lena shook her head again.</p><p>“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Lena hurried to add. “Hell, you two aren’t even the first. But this is a line you’re about to cross. Are you sure you want to cross it?”</p><p>Denial was Eddie’s only line of defense at that moment.</p><p>“We’re just playing some video games, Lena.”</p><p>Lena eyed him for a moment and then another and then one more for a cold sweat to settle over Eddie’s skin before she nodded.</p><p>“Have a good night, Eddie.”</p><p>Eddie watched Lena turn on her heel and disappear from sight as he forced himself to exhale.</p><p>Lena knew. Lena knew and she didn’t care.</p><p>That… That would have to be tomorrow’s problem.</p><p>Eddie heard Buck open the bathroom door and he stepped back inside the room with a final wave to the night agent.  </p><p>Right now he needed to help Buck center himself back into something normal. If video games and beer meant Buck would get a good night’s sleep then who was he to complain.</p><p>Eddie turned and instantly felt his mouth dry as he took in the sight before him.</p><p>Eddie swung the bedroom door closed and locked it at the same time that Buck, naked as the day he was born, pulled his tie tight around his wrists with his teeth.</p><p>So, no on the video games then.</p><p>Guess, he should’ve seen that one coming.</p><p>Heat flooded through every nerve ending in Eddie’s body until he was on fire. He barely gave Buck any time to blink before Eddie crossed the room and swept Buck up in his arms. He captured Buck’s mouth in a searing kiss that had the prince buckling a little at the knees but Eddie took his weight and steered Buck until his back hit the wall, forcing a small huff from Buck’s lips. But Eddie didn’t give him a chance to breathe.</p><p>No, he was determined to wreck him and he pressed every inch of his body flushed against Buck’s naked, satin skin until he could steal the soft promising whimper high in Buck’s throat.</p><p>Jesus, Buck tasted like champagne and vanilla and Eddie licked every inch of his lips to savor it.</p><p>Buck’s arms circled his shoulders and a leg lifted over his hip until Buck was clinging to Eddie for dear life.</p><p>Eddie chuckled against Buck’s lips, the sound deep and low, as he gave Buck a short break to breathe. He nosed along his jaw before peppering the trail with kisses. Buck keened as Eddie wedged a thigh between his legs.</p><p>“Eddie,” Buck said, his voice so wrecked which made the burning of Eddie’s soul flare in pride that he was the cause of it. “Stay… please.”</p><p>Lena was right.</p><p>Up until then, no one would’ve batted an eye that Eddie and Buck had spent almost every waking minute tangled together making out. But they were crossing the line. The only line that truly mattered.</p><p>And Eddie didn’t care.</p><p>He leaned up and sealed his lips against Buck’s, humming in praise at the way Buck’s mouth opened for Eddie’s tongue, before he curled his arms around Buck’s thighs and carried him to bed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That nod to West Wing was absolutely necessary and I will not be taking any questions at this time. Yo-yo Ma rules!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Week Four: After the State Dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The night after the State Dinner</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck’s curls moved like waves rocking back and forth between Eddie’s fingers. </p><p>Just another moment. That’s all he needed. </p><p>He’d been repeating that to himself for an hour but who could blame him. Buck asleep was like staring at a beautiful unblemished piece of marble. The depths of his face were soft with sleep but the press his cheekbone against Eddie’s ribs was hard and there. </p><p>Just another moment. </p><p>Buck was endless and circumstance seemed determined to remind Eddie of that every day. He was charming. He was kind. He was gorgeous. He was scared. He was regal. He was insecure. He was soft and he was Eddie’s. </p><p>No. </p><p>No, he wasn’t and Eddie needed to remember that. Buck was never going to be his. They’d fooled around for a month, taking comfort in their mutual hidden sanctuary, and what they did after the State Dinner and Lena left was poetry. But Buck was in a whole other world that Eddie revolved around on the outside of his orbit. Buck was never going to be Eddie’s because Prince Evan would never be Eddie’s. </p><p>But he could be selfish for a moment. Just a moment. For a moment he could soak up Buck’s warmth and ingrain it in his memory. He could memorize the little sighs across his skin from Buck’s mouth until it harmonized with the echo of his moans from when Eddie had found <em>that</em> spot. The spot that had Buck’s eyes widen with his startle but take comfort in the sight of Eddie above him. The spot that raised an army of goosebumps across Buck’s creamy, perfect skin. </p><p>He could store that memory next to the sound of Buck’s laugh. The wild one from the gym that had kick started these feelings in Eddie’s heart all that time ago. </p><p>A finger attached to the hand on his stomach arched at the knuckle and drew lazy patterns on his skin. Buck hummed as he woke up, purring into Eddie’s petting, and let the dragging of his fingertip show the progression of his waking. </p><p>“You stayed,” Buck said, so quiet it could barely be counted as a whisper. </p><p>It was said like a surprise and finished like a hope. </p><p>“Of course, I stayed,” Eddie said back and pushed his fingers a little harder into his petting so that Buck knew that he was real. </p><p>Eddie felt the small smile against his ribs and the faint whisper caress of eyelashes against his skin.</p><p>They stayed that way, in silence and content to just be with one another for a while. It felt like they could go without a care in the world so long as they could stay curled around one another.</p><p>Buck’s drawing on Eddie’s skin stopped when the pad of his finger slid over tight skin at Eddie’s hip.</p><p>Eddie tried not to tense but the reaction was as fixed in him as breathing was. Buck’s finger circled the scar before he skated his fingers down and covered it with the hot center of his palm. A low, unhappy noise keened at the back of his throat.</p><p>“I never asked,” Buck said and then he turned his head so that he was gazing up at Eddie again.</p><p>Eddie’s breath hitched in his chest as Buck’s hand smoothed up from the scar at his hip to the even uglier one at his shoulder.</p><p>The skin was puckered and drawn across where the bullet had skidded across his collarbone before piercing his shoulder, creating a web of memories Eddie tried to forget most days. A cleaner line cut across the shattered disfigured blotch where the medic had cut.</p><p>Shannon couldn’t even look at the one on his shoulder.</p><p>But Buck wasn’t looking at them. He was staring up at Eddie, blue eyes wide and curious.</p><p>“I was in Afghanistan. My convoy was attacked. Helicopter crashed somewhere in the Valley. I got everyone out.”</p><p>Buck didn’t say anything, just watched as Eddie processed through the flashes that came with the clipped words he tried not to say out loud too often.</p><p>“I took three bullets. Almost didn’t make it back.”</p><p>Eddie looked down at the reminders he had to carry with him but Buck had done something he didn’t realize was possible. His hand covered the scar on his shoulder and his arm covered the one on his hip. He probably didn’t even know he was doing it, blanketing him with his own body, but it was enough to make Eddie dizzy with emotion. The scars were still there but Buck patched them with his own skin.</p><p>Buck smiled, a soft little smile that was reserved only for Eddie, and kissed the space above his navel when Eddie came back to him.</p><p>Words fumbled on Eddie’s tongue and crashed against his lips. Words he couldn’t say even though they were true. He swallowed them and kept them from escaping.</p><p>He couldn’t.</p><p>“You’re perfect,” Eddie said instead.</p><p>Buck preened at the praise, plumes of pink flushing into his cheeks, but then dropped his gaze the longer he sat in it.</p><p>“Trust me,” Buck said, his voice low to replace the sleepy whimsical lightness that had been there before. “I’m the opposite of perfect. I’m a mess.”</p><p>Eddie shook his head. “You’re hurting. That’s different.”</p><p>Hurting from what, he still didn’t know. But it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see the bruises on Buck’s soul.</p><p>“Come here.”</p><p>Eddie cupped the base of Buck’s skull and pulled him up until he could reach. Buck moved without complaint and Eddie swept his palm to his neck so Buck could feel the heaviness of Eddie’s hand all the way down his spine. He pulled him in for a kiss; a lazy, messy kiss that was more tongue than lips but still managed make Buck shiver against him.</p><p>The blanket slipped down their hips with the ebb and flow of their movements and the valley of the small of Buck’s back pebbled with the exposure to the cold air. Eddie slid his other hand down the miles of back, into the valley, and over the hill of the firm supple skin to grab. Buck jolted in his arms, breaking the kiss to laugh against Eddie’s mouth before dropping down for a small peck against his lips. An impish, teasing peck that he’d used to torment Eddie when they first started fooling around; back before they’d become so addicted to one another they could hardly go five minutes without touching.</p><p>Eddie followed after him, nuzzling the spot on his face where nose met cheek, and rolled open his arm for Buck to take up space beside him. He grabbed a handful of the blanket that had slipped away and pulled it up to cover the creeping chill he could feel on Buck’s skin.</p><p>They stayed like that some more, Buck tucked against Eddie’s side with his face hidden in the crook of Eddie’s neck, and watched the patterns on the ceiling sway as the moon shifted in the shadows.</p><p>“It’s a demotion title,” Buck said eventually. “What Doug called me. Serene highness. That’s not the case everywhere but back home royal highness is still considered part of the establishment and in line to the throne. Serene highness is for non-important relatives to the crown.”</p><p>Eddie stiffened as he remembered the tightly controlled reaction Buck had when Kendall had mockingly bowed to him. He’d wanted to ask but Chim and Hen’s expressions had said enough. Protocol dictated that calling a royal by their incorrect title was a faux pas in general but in most circumstances the mistake was inspired by genuine accidents. Most European royalty had been wiped out between the world wars and the curtseying and bowing of nobility was a tradition long forgotten. But not to the likes of people like Kendall, who grew up being groomed to rub elbows with higher classes and very important people. Respect was taught alongside the basics like walking. No, Kendall knew better. He had misaddressed Buck on purpose.  </p><p>“He was calling you worthless?” Eddie asked even though he didn’t need an answer and he felt Buck shrug against him.</p><p>“He wasn’t wrong.”</p><p>And Eddie wanted to argue but one thing he’d learned was that it was almost impossible to do so when Buck was in the headspace where he wouldn’t be able to hear the sense. He wouldn’t fight back at the logic but it was like being thrown something and letting it hit you in the face before watching it fall at your feet.</p><p>“Have you ever wondered what it would be like?” Eddie asked instead, curling his hand up to stroke through Buck’s curls.</p><p>Buck shook his head instantly.</p><p>“No,” he said with such sureness. “No, the only way I’d ever be on that throne is if something happened to Maddie and standing between her and danger is exactly where I would want to be.”</p><p>“That’s my job,” Eddie teased as he tightened his hold around Buck.</p><p>Buck sighed and melted against him, pressing a soft kiss against Eddie’s rib cage in thanks.</p><p>“So, is that why you came here? Because you feel like that?”</p><p>Buck stilled and it was incredibly frustrating for Eddie to watch at the very obvious deliberation working across Buck’s thoughts. He thought they were better or at least, past the deflecting Buck had mastered when no one had been looking. But he forced himself to wait, to let Buck decide if he was going to come out or not. Buck blinked, slow, distant blinks that fanned his cheeks with long eyelashes before he chewed on his bottom lip and peered up at Eddie.</p><p>Eddie turned his hand so that his knuckles could drag along the line of Buck’s jaw and worked the abused skin of his lip away from his teeth.</p><p>“I… uh,” Buck started and then stopped when his throat sounded like it closed in on him and Eddie rubbed his thumb against his cheek until he felt Buck take a shaky breath.</p><p>“I was uh,” Buck tried again. “I was going through a pretty bad break up. She um… She couldn’t handle… She left.”</p><p>There was so much more to that but Eddie bit his tongue to keep from pressing. Buck was burning himself with the honesty he was giving Eddie and he wasn’t going to demand more just because he was curious.</p><p>“I didn’t handle it well.” Buck ducked his head down so that Eddie could only see the top of his head. “I was already… It’s hard being told your whole life that you’re the extra piece to this massive 'bigger than you' puzzle and it’s even harder finding someone you can actually trust to talk about it with. I thought she got me. I'd never truly felt seen until I met her. She didn't make me feel like I was a spare part. But then she just left one day and I waited around and until I guess I realized she wasn't ever coming back. So, I kind of spiraled.”</p><p>Buck pulled his hands to his chest, like he wasn’t allowed to seek comfort from Eddie for admitting to doing something so fundamentally expected when faced with heartbreak, and that nearly broke Eddie but he didn’t push. He simply let Buck take the space he needed while making sure to keep him cocooned from pulling even further away.</p><p>“I was partying a lot,” Buck said. “And I met this guy and we… we hooked up a couple of times. He agreed to keeping it quiet because I knew it was never going to be anything serious and he was fine with that. But one night, we met at this club. I slipped past my PPOs and we… It was fun but he took my hand and…”</p><p>Buck’s entire body from head to toes shuddered as he struggled through an inhale. He looked so small. Eddie was only human and there was only so much pain he could take before he had to do something. He curled his other arm over Buck’s waist and bullied him until he was on top of Eddie again. A stray tear slid across Buck’s nose and landed on Eddie’s chest and it stung down to Eddie’s core.</p><p>“I thought he was taking me to the side door so we could go somewhere but instead he’d tipped off where I was exiting and there was a crowd waiting for me… we… he---” Buck clenched his eyes closed as he shook his head. “There were paparazzi and so many people and there weren’t any barriers so they kept trying to drag me out and then… I fell and I couldn’t get back up.”</p><p>It all made sense now. From Buck’s stress about the crowds to his reaction after the incident at the hospital to the way Buck loved so openly but lived at arm’s length. Just the thought of Buck trapped on the ground, a sea of people pulling and dragging him like he was nothing more than an object sent Eddie’s heart racing. And to be put in that position from someone he’d trusted.  </p><p>“That must have been terrifying.”</p><p>Buck curled into him like he was trying to hide away from the world in Eddie’s chest.</p><p>“People got hurt,” he said, his lips dragging across Eddie’s collarbone. “And it was all my fault.”</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie pressed.</p><p>He pulled Buck away so that he could cradle his face in his hands and ducked down until those stormy sky blue eyes met his again. He smoothed away the scolding tear tracks with his thumbs until that faraway look that had filmed over Buck’s eyes cleared.</p><p>“None of that was your fault.”</p><p>Eddie had remembered reading about it. There’d been injuries that ranged from minor to severe and chaos had disrupted the whole night. It’d been a real failure on the security’s part. There were procedures put in place for a reason when it came to VIPs and celebrity appearances. It wasn’t all special treatment and body glitter. The protocols are put in place for everyone’s safety so that a crowd didn’t turn into a mob. Which it had from the sounds of it and Buck had been stuck in the middle.</p><p>He could see the denial on Buck’s face; could feel it in the way that the muscle in his jaw clenched.</p><p>Eddie slipped a leg between Buck’s and rolled them until Buck was on his back and Eddie was on top of him.</p><p>“Look at me, Buck,” Eddie said when Buck turned his face away.</p><p>Buck didn’t and kept blinking back the tears he couldn’t stop.</p><p>Eddie leaned down and dragged his nose along his temple.</p><p>He hated this. He hated how grief kept trying to snuff out the light Buck brought with him everywhere he went. He hated how Buck had started to believe it. And it hadn’t been the mob that had done it. No, it’d been the betrayal. Buck’s entire life had been nothing but pitfalls of people betraying his trust and the mob had just been the last straw. He’d been pushed down and his spirit had shattered upon impact. He was a walking, talking bruised embodiment of trust issues.</p><p>And yet, he still trusted Eddie. He still opened his arms again and again despite all of it.</p><p>Eddie didn’t think he could’ve stomached it if he was in Buck’s shoes.</p><p>But Buck had given Eddie a part of himself even when he had nothing left to give.</p><p>“Buck,” Eddie plead, letting his lips drag against the skin of Buck’s temple.</p><p>Buck shivered and finally looked at him.</p><p>“None of what happened was your fault.”</p><p>Eddie didn’t think he’d ever caressed something so carefully and softly as he did Buck in that moment. Buck who deserved all the soft things like kisses and tenderness. Buck who deserved all the hard things too like commitment and loyalty.</p><p>Love.</p><p>Eddie swallowed that down.</p><p>He only had this moment to be selfish. Buck deserved forever.</p><p>He leaned down and pinned Buck’s wrists to the soft mattress, caging him in with his body, before swooping in to kiss his abused lips again. Buck responded like Eddie’s kiss was a song.</p><p>“You’re a person,” Eddie said, when they broke apart to breathe. “It wasn't your fault what happened. You are entitled to being able to trust someone without strings attached. You deserve to be treated <em>like a person.</em>”</p><p>He leaned down and kissed him until Buck was breathless again and then kissed him some more until he was sure Buck got his point. He dragged a finger along the shell of Buck’s ear and hummed at the feeling of Buck’s response.</p><p>Buck melted into the tangled blanket and sheets, a little out of his mind and flushing with need all over again.</p><p>“Eddie,” Buck said, his voice feather light over the growing hum of anticipation between them.</p><p>He wrapped his legs around Eddie’s hips again, desperate like he didn’t want Eddie to go anywhere, and Eddie didn’t plan on leaving any time soon. Eddie curled around him and nosed his way to a spot on Buck’s shoulder where he’d been working earlier. He kissed the bruise and felt electricity move down his spine at the hissed arch from beneath him before he latched his teeth onto the skin and sucked.</p><p>Buck sounded like the rest of the air had been punched out of him as Eddie felt him respond so beautifully to his worshipping. It was rough but it was real and Eddie wanted Buck to feel real. He’d spent so long feeling like a ghost that Eddie wanted to give him this. Let him cherish the fact that he was <em>someone </em>who <em>mattered </em>to a lot of people. That he was Buck in that room, in Eddie’s arms, pressed against his skin.</p><p>“Eddie,” he heard Buck say again before the rational part of his brain went silent. “I think I really like you.”</p><p>He said it like a prayer. A hope.</p><p>And Eddie, before he could give in to the impulse to think he had more than a moment, devoured Buck again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Week Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie needed to get better at being alone again or he wouldn’t make it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie pressed his lips against the pink birthmark and kissed the skin with the last bit of warmth he had left in him since he’d painstakingly pulled himself from the bed. He swiped his thumb to ease the burn and patiently waited for the blue slits to open.</p>
<p>Buck blinked once and then twice before a sleepy smiled pulled on his lips.</p>
<p>“I have to go pick up Chris,” Eddie said, moving his hand back into the curls and scratching his scalp. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”</p>
<p>He leaned in to kiss Buck’s pout away and then replaced another one on that birthmark for safe keeping when Buck easily fell back into the embrace of sleep again before standing up from his crouch beside Buck’s bed.</p>
<p>A hazy blue light cast over the shadows of furniture as the morning sun started to filter through the drawn curtains but Eddie didn’t dare turn on the lights as he gathered his things. While Buck may not have done a lot of sleeping per say, it was the most well rested he’d seen the prince since Buck had arrived.</p>
<p>Eddie leaned down, smoothing some of the curls away, and kissed Buck’s temple one last time, inhaling Buck’s scent and sealing the feel of his soft hair with all the rest of the good things in his memory.</p>
<p>Eddie turned on his heel and slipped out of the room.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The comedown was worse than any hangover Eddie had ever had. Worse than being shot almost. Because suddenly, he was very aware of just how alone he was. Had been. Less so now.</p>
<p>Being with Buck so completely had ruined him. Ruined him in all the best ways but left him reeling for… what?</p>
<p>He wasn’t brave enough to admit it. Not alone. Not brave like the way Buck made him brave. No, when Eddie was alone he was a coward, stuck drifting in and out of his life like a stranger staring at his reflection.</p>
<p>He couldn’t get the smell of Buck out of his mind. The taste of champagne and vanilla was seared onto his tongue and left him dizzy. The sound of his moans and sighs and gasps were trapped in Eddie’s lungs like a swarm of butterflies content to float from one side to the other. The heat of his body pressed against Eddie’s echoed in its absence.</p>
<p>His bed felt empty and thin and he tossed and turned more than he slept as he remembered the way Buck moved beneath him. His skin felt tight across his body but his fingertips buzzed with the memory of Buck’s tongue slashing across them. His palm felt too light and hollow without him.</p>
<p>Buck’s laugh. His smile.</p>
<p>Those were things he couldn’t get out of his head. He heard them in the too quiet wasteland of his own solitude and it was maddening.</p>
<p>He was addicted to every part, every inch of Buck and slammed into the withdrawals after being starved from his touch.</p>
<p>And it’d only been twelve hours. Twelve excruciating hours without him. He needed to get better at being alone again or he wouldn’t make it.</p>
<p>Lena was right. He and Buck had crossed a line and now Eddie was lost.</p>
<p>So very lost.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Buck’s smile… There weren’t enough words to describe Buck’s smile and Eddie couldn’t get enough of it. It was like the first heat of spring that peaked through the grey winter clouds and warmed the frost into submission. And when Buck smiled unabashedly and without restraint it was like being blasted with the first taste of the sun on your skin after a lifetime of desolate winters.</p>
<p>“Careful Diaz,” Lena said as she leaned over. “Keep grinning like that and it might just stick on your face.”</p>
<p>Buck’s schedule had been pretty jammed pack after the State Dinner. His mornings were spent visiting local charities and his afternoons consisted of stepping in for official photo ops with the ambassador. Buck took it all in stride with the charming smile and grace of someone who was groomed to be humbled knowing that he was to be looked at and admired like a crown jewel trapped behind a glass case. And Eddie had been forced to watch as people smeared their hands against the glass. Daylight had been exhausting but the evenings had been exhilarating.</p>
<p>Daylight was when Eddie had to share His Royal Highness Prince Evan with the world.</p>
<p>The evenings were meant for just Buck and Eddie was quickly having to come face to face with the fact that just Buck was all he would ever need to feel like he could breathe again.</p>
<p>“I mean can you blame me?” Eddie asked, schooling his face as best he could while he watched Buck take a dramatic tumble into the wet grass, ruining his designer jeans.</p>
<p>The press pool along the side of the soccer field went crazy as Buck threw his head back and laughed while a group of third graders piled on top of him in their excitement at having bested the prince with yet another goal.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand how you all got so good at football!” Buck cried, winking at the teachers and faculty who had gathered to catch a glimpse of Buck during his school visit, when the kids broke into hysterical giggles. “What? Was it something I said?”</p>
<p>“<em>Soccer!” </em>The class screamed.</p>
<p>“Soccer?” Buck asked, exaggerating his accent and throwing his hands on his hips. “I thought we were playing football! No wonder you’re all winning! I’ve been playing the wrong game.”</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“Yeah okay.” Lena agreed, taking a turn to swivel and survey their surroundings. “He’s pretty adorable.”</p>
<p>Adorable and… better. Buck had been sleeping through the night--- at least, when he was <em>sleeping</em>--- and his appetite was becoming more consistent. The circles under his eyes were growing smaller and his smiles a little brighter.</p>
<p>
  <em>I think I really like you. </em>
</p>
<p>That prayer echoed in the bell tower of Eddie’s soul and rang against his heart until he ached all the way down to his bones. He was in too deep and he hated himself for allowing that to happen because Buck may really like him but Eddie was… He couldn’t bring himself to say it. The word stayed trapped in the Eddie’s chest and hammered away at his heart, begging to be let out.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t.</p>
<p>Buck was leaving soon and Buck would never be his. Eddie needed to prepare himself because there would come a time when Buck would leave and he wouldn’t need Eddie anymore.</p>
<p>He came to the White House--- to his family--- a wounded bird and now his wings were on the mend. Soon, he would fly away and Eddie would be left on the ground to watch as he disappeared in the horizon.</p>
<p>He was happy for him.</p>
<p>He was.</p>
<p>He wanted Buck to soar.</p>
<p>Eddie just wished that he had wings too.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Buck’s pinky hooked over two of Eddie’s fingers from where their hands rested side by side in the back of the SUV.</p>
<p>“So,” Buck said in a low voice even though the privacy screen was up and it was just the two of them. “Fair warning but I’ve got a bit of history with our host.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Eddie said, stretching his fingers so he could capture Buck’s pinky between his knuckles.</p>
<p>Buck hummed with a pleased uptick of his lips as he looked out the window.</p>
<p>“Anything I need to be worried about?”</p>
<p>Eddie didn’t mind playing the bad protection agent if he had to and history for Buck could mean a lot of things. Eddie had an entire list of names memorized of stalkers, obsessive critics, and even hung up exes seared into his brain and he wouldn’t mind stepping in the way for any one of them if it meant keeping Buck safe and happy. He was pretty sure the actress that he had to unglue from Buck’s side the night of the State Dinner had wished death on him and all his immediate blood relatives but for Buck, he wouldn’t hesitate.</p>
<p>“We hooked up but it was nothing serious. Went to the same boarding schools.” Buck added before he turned his head so he could rest it against the window. “Don’t want you to get the wrong idea if Celine is a little too comfortable.”</p>
<p>And Eddie had no idea why Buck thought he owed Eddie an explanation but it was nice to hear all the same. A warm purr settled in his chest as he looked down at their tangled fingers.</p>
<p>Buck wasn’t his.</p>
<p>Eddie was temporary.</p>
<p>But Buck was making it difficult to remember that every time he looked at Eddie as if he could see right through him to the very heart of his soul.</p>
<p>“Just let me know if you need me to intervene.” Eddie settled on saying instead of giving in to all the feeble attempts of rationality that were pleading in his head.</p>
<p>Buck smiled at him.</p>
<p>“I’ll make it up to you after lunch.” He promised.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Celine Germain, a former classmate and hook up of Buck’s, was the chairwoman of some charity Eddie forgot the moment he saw her press a kiss a little too close to Buck’s mouth. And she was more than a little comfortable. She was careless in her touches and even more oblivious in her flirting and Eddie was definitely not jealous.</p>
<p>He wasn’t.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>
  <em>He wasn’t.</em>
</p>
<p>Buck threw him a knowing, pointed look when he saw Eddie all but glaring at the back of Celine’s head when she settled her hand on Buck’s forearm and left it there. It’d taken every ounce of control he had not to storm over and brush her hand off. She was supposed to be a friend! Or, at least, something of an acquaintance. Someone who should’ve known better than to claw their fingers into Buck’s skin and shake him for all he was worth!</p>
<p>And now suddenly, Eddie understood why Buck gave him the warning in the car because a green rage monster was stomping on his chest and making it hard to breathe. The luncheon went on at an excruciatingly slow pace and Eddie really didn’t know how Buck did it. He was ready to tear his hair out by the end and Buck just kept his polite smile that had a touch of a smirk in it on his face.</p>
<p>So, really, it was Eddie’s own fault that his heart was back along that treacherous edge. But he didn’t pay much attention to the way his stomach lurched at the threat of the fall.</p>
<p>No, he had other things to do.</p>
<p>Like kissing the sense out of Buck until he couldn’t even remember Celine Germain’s name.</p>
<p>Buck was barely through the door before Eddie was slamming it closed and locking it behind him. Eddie reached out and caught him before he could get too far. Buck, the asshole, laughed as Eddie’s hand slipped into his pocket and pulled him close. Buck’s lips were supple and sweet against his own and having far too much fun laughing at Eddie’s expense.</p>
<p>Eddie curled a hand around Buck’s hip and carded his other into his hair before he spun them and slammed Buck back up against the wall. Buck gasped and that was all Eddie needed to slip his tongue into his mouth to lick up all the politeness and charm and control until Buck was nothing more than a clinging, trembling mess beneath him.</p>
<p>Eddie broke away for air before he was feathering kisses in a trail down Buck’s throat.</p>
<p>“I’m…” Buck stuttered out as Eddie slipped his hands around his waist and into the seat of Buck’s stupid designer khakis to squeeze until Buck would feel his handprint for hours afterwards. “I did warn y-you---”</p>
<p>He broke off with a shudder as Eddie’s teeth found a space on his collarbone to latch onto and <em>sucked </em>and nibbled on it until all of Buck’s strings were cut.</p>
<p>He did warn Eddie and Eddie should’ve been prepared for the jealousy of seeing Buck comfortable with someone who wasn’t him. So, he had no excuse.</p>
<p>But he also had no blood flowing to his brain at that moment, and all he wanted to do was feel the way Buck would come undone beneath him.</p>
<p>He pulled off his mark with a drag of his tongue and blew on the purpling bruise as if to seal the mark into Buck’s skin so he would never forget him.</p>
<p>But he would.</p>
<p>One day.</p>
<p>Eddie didn’t know if it was his face or if Buck sensed the shift in Eddie’s mood because Buck's strong hands shifted to cradle his head. Somehow, Buck made Eddie feel like he was at the very epicenter of Buck’s world. Buck pressed his forehead against Eddie’s and swayed through the last of the momentum as the envy that fueled through Eddie’s veins was stubbed out.</p>
<p>Buck kissed him, softly, like Eddie was the one who should be treasured.</p>
<p>
  <em>I think I really like you. </em>
</p>
<p>Eddie was beginning to think he really liked Buck too.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>He <em>knew</em>.</p>
<p>He just had no idea what to do about that.</p>
<p>Buck’s hand fisted the front of Eddie’s shirt and he walked Eddie back until he was dropping onto the bed.</p>
<p>“I believe,” Buck said, his voice low. “I said I’d make it up to you.”</p>
<p>He looked up at Eddie from beneath his long, blond lashes and held his gaze as he settled in between Eddie’s legs. Then slowly and deliberately, Buck dropped to his knees.</p>
<p>The air turned thick and heavy as Buck reached for Eddie’s hand and Eddie, who was finding it hard to deny Buck anything anymore, gave it to him. Buck nuzzled into the slope of Eddie’s thumb and pressed a kiss into the arch of his palm before he turned his head and gave Eddie full access to his hair. Eddie curled and uncurled his fingers, pulling Buck’s waves out of the trappings of his pomade, before he clawed his fingers to knot Buck’s hair. He arched Buck’s head back, exposing the long column of his throat, and pushed his finger into the growing bruise of his hickey.</p>
<p>Buck went with his direction, his eyes hooded but still on Eddie, as he licked his top lip and moaned.</p>
<p>Something swelled in Eddie’s chest as he got drunk off the wrecked picture that Buck made up. Something that grasped at the trust and clung on with the vow to never let go. Buck was so open with him, debauched and responsive in the way that he hissed into the sting on his scalp, but also so much more.</p>
<p>He was perfect even in his messy, blemished, imperfection and all for Eddie. Gone were his defenses and filters that everyone saw: The golden boy, the charming prince, the bright spot of an international relationship made out of a fairytale.</p>
<p>He was just Buck. Buck, who trusted Eddie.</p>
<p>Buck, who was the sun to everyone else, except Eddie.</p>
<p>Buck was a falling star that Eddie had been lucky enough to catch in the palm of his hand. </p>
<p>“I…” Eddie caught himself before the words could slip out.</p>
<p>Buck just watched him with that same patient, hopeful gaze.</p>
<p>“You’re so beautiful,” Eddie said instead, the words thick in his throat.</p>
<p>Buck preened and ducked his head to nuzzle the inside of Eddie’s thigh, a beautiful blush pulling at his cheeks.</p>
<p>Then, Buck turned and dragged the tip of his nose pointedly along the inseam of Eddie’s pants, and got to work on making it up to him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Would you,” Buck asked between punches. “Want to hang out?”</p>
<p>He punctuated each word with a hiss of breath. His punches were getting stronger and more precise with each passing session. Eddie swiped his arm and Buck ducked before he punched a cross left to the focus mitt.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?” Eddie teased.</p>
<p>Buck shot him a small, almost bashful smile before he turned his attention back into the combo. Sweat was pebbling along Buck’s brow and the flush of his work out blended with the birthmark. The temptation to lick him clean was there, warm in the depth of Eddie’s belly, but he shook his head and switched his feet to start a new combination. Buck, the fast learner that he was, adjusted. Right hook, left cross, upper cut, swipe. The repetition was hypnotic and soothing.</p>
<p>“I mean like,” Buck said with a roll of his shoulders. “Like a movie or something. Maybe tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“I can’t.” Eddie shook his head. “I promised Judd I’d go for a round of drinks with him.”</p>
<p>More like Judd had said, “<em>You’re coming out with us on Thursday night and no isn’t an option.”</em></p>
<p>Eddie tried not to read too much into the slight disappointment that flickered across Buck’s expression.</p>
<p>“But Lena will be around,” Eddie said, offering an alternative. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind hanging out.”</p>
<p>Buck missed the aim of his upper cut and dropped his hands. He blinked at Eddie, pushing the top of his wrist to wipe away the sweat.</p>
<p>“What?” Eddie asked.</p>
<p>Buck blinked at him again, his face shuttering through a menagerie of emotions too fast for Eddie to catch, before he smirked.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Buck said with a shake of his head. “I just don’t think Lena would be interested in what I had planned for after the movie is all.”</p>
<p>And if that was how Eddie found himself pinning Buck up against the wall of the empty bathroom, then that was his business.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The bar was loud. The kind of loud where just turning your head made your skull feel like it was vibrating along your spine. The music was loud for the small place where people were dancing and the volume of people talking was even louder. It grated on Eddie’s nerves and set his teeth on edge and the only reason he didn’t make a hasty exit to leave was because leaving would send Eddie straight into the temptation of taking Buck up on his offer to hang out. Hanging out usually turned into a whole other gymnastic of things and Eddie needed to start doing a better job of separating himself from the prince.</p>
<p>Buck would be leaving soon and Eddie was painfully grounded in reality to know that there wasn’t some fairytale ending where they could meet up the next time he was in town and get a beer.</p>
<p>So, Eddie stayed and drank through the pale IPA Judd had placed down in front of him.</p>
<p>Grace, Judd’s wife and the Director for the Women’s Bureau at the Department of Labor, had managed to secure them a table and before Eddie could retreat, Hen and Chim arrived with piles of nachos and another round.</p>
<p>The bar couldn’t seem to decide whether it was a locals only joint or if it was trying to appease the younger crowd by passing as a club but Eddie didn’t think they were too concerned by the way the place was packed with people looking to have a good time and blow off some steam. The food was decent, the drinks were endless, and there was a space for pretty much whatever you wanted to do, whether that be a game of pool or to dance or just stand around and chat.</p>
<p>To be honest, when Judd told Eddie they were going out, he didn’t expect… Well, he didn’t expect this.</p>
<p>Grace and Hen were elbows deep into a plate of buffalo cauliflower and some new initiative that helped inner city high school students prepare for careers that they could maintain while going to college. Chim and Judd were in a very heated debate about Garth Brooks. Eddie… Eddie was starting to feel like the third wheel.</p>
<p>“I’m going to get another round,” Eddie said with the last of his IPA swilling at the bottom of his glass. “You guys want anything?”</p>
<p>“I’ll take another glass of red,” Grace said with that sweet southern drawl that sounded like lace against Judd’s Texas grit.</p>
<p>Chim waved his empty bottle after he drained it. “Another beer please!”</p>
<p>“You need help?” Hen asked but Eddie shook his head.</p>
<p>“I got it.”</p>
<p>And once he got everyone their drinks, he could make his excuses and go home to his empty bed and miss Buck in private.</p>
<p>Like the adult that he was.</p>
<p>Eddie navigated through the crowd easily on his own and flagged down a bartender who was busy putting on a show for a couple of college girls.</p>
<p>The bar top was sticky with a puddle leaking out from a carton of limes. The whole club… bar… whatever, was packed full of people and Eddie was already itching to take a shower once he got home. Sweat from the alcohol and too many bodies pressed into one room caked over his skin in a gritty layer that only just masked his own self-pity.</p>
<p>Someone pressed up against him, pushing into his space and tangling their fingers into his belt loops.</p>
<p>“Can I buy you a drink?”</p>
<p>Eddie would’ve been flattered. It’d been… well, it’d been a while since anyone showed any interest in him that way at a bar of all places, but he was still a little too hung up on someone he couldn’t have to return the favor. Eddie smirked as he swallowed the last of his drink and turned to decline only to choke as Buck in a baseball cap smiled down at him.</p>
<p>“Buck!” Eddie gasped, slamming his glass down onto the bar and no!</p>
<p>No!</p>
<p>Eddie grabbed his arm and dragged Buck to the corner of the bar, pressing him against the wall and shielding him from the crowd.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>He scanned the crowd for any sign of Bosko before he narrowed his gaze onto a smiling Buck who couldn’t feign innocent if he tried.</p>
<p>And he was trying.</p>
<p>“Did you ditch Lena?”</p>
<p>Buck bit his lip as he grinned, that little bounce in his step back as if he was buzzing on the excitement.</p>
<p>“I wanted to come out with you!”</p>
<p>“Buck, you can’t just ditch your security!”</p>
<p>Buck’s grin dropped into a pout at Eddie’s exasperation. “I… I didn’t ditch my security! I just… found my <em>other</em>… security.”</p>
<p>His fingers curled into Eddie’s belt loops again as he did a little shimmy to the music to try and alleviate the stress that was practically rolling off Eddie’s shoulders but it wasn’t working. Not when Buck had somehow managed to sneak out of the Residence, made his way across town, and was stupid enough to step into an overcrowded bar with no security as a person who had an actual fucking kidnapping insurance policy in his name!</p>
<p>“What were you thinking?”</p>
<p>Buck’s eyes widened in surprise as if he thought Eddie would just go along with his reckless plan.</p>
<p>“Do…” Buck said, a flash of hurt crossing his face as he dropped his hands. “Did you not want…”</p>
<p>Eddie groaned and shoved a hand against his face to staunch the oncoming headache he could feel building behind his eyes, hating that insecure tone, and hating it even more that Eddie had put it there.</p>
<p>“No, Buck, no. It’s not that. I---” Eddie bit off the ramblings he was about to fall into and shook his head at the sad face Buck was wearing. “Stop doing that with your face. Of course, I want you here. But you can’t!”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Buck shrugged. “Come on, Eddie! No one will recognize me here and I promise I won’t leave your side and look! I have my panic button! Please!”</p>
<p>Quick as a flash, Buck dipped down to press a kiss against the corner of Eddie’s lips.</p>
<p>“Please?”</p>
<p>He should say no.</p>
<p>There were a million reasons why Eddie should say no. </p>
<p>Eddie should march Buck all the way back to Pennsylvania Avenue himself.</p>
<p>There were a dozen of reasons off the top of his head why he should say no on the tip of his tongue. Very important reasons like the previously mentioned kidnapping insurance policy and the fact that Lena was probably freaking out which meant that their boss was freaking out which meant that the <em>President </em>… Well, Bobby wouldn’t freak out but it’d be close because Buck was essentially Bobby’s son. Not to mention that the last time Buck was in a crowded space where the bodies were too close and the hands were too free, he went into a full fledge panic attack in Eddie’s arms.</p>
<p>He should say no.</p>
<p>“Fine," Eddie said and pointed at him. "But I’m calling Lena and you stay by my side until she gets here.”</p>
<p>Buck’s disguise was feeble at best but the way his smile brightened up his whole face should've given him away to anyone looking. Those fingers in his belt loops returned, confident, and Buck pulled Eddie close to place a real kiss against his lips. A soft but sure one that managed to make him a little weak in the knees. But they were in public and the possibility of someone seeing them and recognizing Buck were astronomically high. Eddie pushed Buck back with a press of his hand against his chest and tried not to get too distracted by the heat beneath his palm.</p>
<p>Eddie’s gaze drifted up to the baseball cap.</p>
<p>“A baseball hat? Really Buck?”</p>
<p>Buck shrugged, unapologetic.</p>
<p>“It’s the best I could do. And see,” Buck said, doing something weird with his voice so that the cadence of his accent flattened into something where he chewed the words at the back of his mouth. “I can even sound American!”</p>
<p>“Technically, aren’t you American?”</p>
<p>Eddie was pretty sure Buck being born on the floor of the White House, the most American house on American soil, meant that Buck was American by birthright. Buck turned serious and pointed a stern finger at him.</p>
<p>“Technically,” Buck said, slipping back into his natural accent. “I’m aligned to crown and country but I don’t have to be tonight if it means I can stay here with you!”</p>
<p>Eddie rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of Buck’s shirt to drag him through the crowd. Hen saw them first and her eyebrows shot up on her forehead as she tossed her straw at Chimney.</p>
<p>“Please tell me that Eddie picked up a Buck lookalike and not the actual---”</p>
<p>“Hey Chim!” Buck sat down where Eddie all but threw him into a seat beside Judd.</p>
<p>“Watch him for me,” Eddie said. “I've got to go make a call.”</p>
<p>Judd lifted a brow but nodded as Eddie stalked away.</p>
<p>Lena picked up on the second ring as Eddie stepped out of the bar into the quiet, cold air.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I’m here.”</p>
<p>A government official SUV flashed its lights at Eddie and he threw his arm out, annoyed.</p>
<p>“You let him come?”</p>
<p>He couldn’t see Lena through the tinted windows but he knew she was shrugging. “He got a head start.”</p>
<p>“<em>Lena,”</em> Eddie bit out. “He shouldn’t be here!”</p>
<p>“Come on, Eddie,” Lena said. “He’s been working like crazy these last couple of days and he snuck out to come hang out <em>with you. </em>What’s the harm with letting him have a little fun? Besides, I’m here. I’ve got agents on stand by and he’s got his panic button.”</p>
<p>“You know why,” Eddie hissed into the phone because if anyone knew exactly why, it was Lena.</p>
<p>“I’m hanging up now. Go have fun.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Buck was on thin ice as far as Eddie was concerned. The shock of Buck showing up, unannounced and unguarded, wore off with everyone pretty quickly when no one came rushing to their table or tried to drag Buck away to cause an international incident. Buck was at ease as he joked with Chimney and Judd and Eddie was glad he was having a good time.</p>
<p>Because Buck <em>was</em> having a good time. Eddie could see it in the way Buck's eyes sparkled when he laughed and his smiles radiated across his whole face. The heavy shroud of polite nobility was gone and if anyone looked over at their table, all they would see was a young guy in a baseball cap having a drink and hanging out with his friends.</p>
<p>No, what Buck was doing however, was driving Eddie crazy. It was in the small things he would do. Like how his hand would settle on Eddie’s thigh as he reached across the table to steal a nacho or how his weight would lean into Eddie’s side and he would bat his eyelashes up at him like he had no concept of personal space whenever Eddie would stiffen at the touch. How he’d lick his lips whenever he took a sip of his beer and would smirk at Eddie every time he caught Eddie looking. Buck, admittedly, having a good time had become infectious and made Eddie start to have a good time too.</p>
<p>Even if Buck was torturing him. </p>
<p>Buck was being a goddamn tease and he knew it. It was on the third time where Buck brushed up against him that Judd finally rolled his eyes skyward.</p>
<p>“For the love of all that is holy, Diaz, would you just hold the kid’s hand already? I can’t take the pining anymore!”</p>
<p>Eddie didn’t know if it was the beer or the good humor from even better company but he slid his arm around Buck’s shoulders and pulled him to his side. Grace smacked Judd with the back of her hand and a cluck of her tongue and Chim was handing Hen a wadded up bill begrudgingly.</p>
<p>Buck said nothing and settled in beneath Eddie’s arm like it was the easiest thing in the world. Maybe it was but, Eddie had about three beers in him before he switched to water and everything was easy at that point.</p>
<p>“You guys…” Eddie started before his eyes landed on Judd because while he respected the others, Judd was his coworker, and knew just what lines Eddie had already crossed. “Why are you okay with this?”</p>
<p>“Well, hell, Eddie you two aren’t exactly subtle.”</p>
<p>Eddie was too drunk on the feeling of being able to hold Buck to be offended by that. Buck’s fingers tangled into his belt loop and he launched the conversation back off of Eddie with the ease of someone who was used to redirecting a conversation. Said conversation somehow took a turn towards a debate that involved Grace and Hen being horrified to find out that Chimney didn’t think you were supposed to clean your calves in the shower and descended into chaos.</p>
<p>All in all, Buck was having a good time. Eddie was too and now that Eddie could touch Buck, he couldn't stop. </p>
<p>Eventually, Grace and Judd decided to dance while Chim and Hen tried to tag team Buck and Eddie into a game of pool. It… It was so normal. Other than the fact that Eddie had switched to water the moment he realized that Buck was staying, it was like a normal Thursday night out with friends. A normal Thursday night where Buck was free to press up against Eddie as he teased Chim about how terrible he was at pool. A normal Thursday night where nobody looked twice when Buck slid his hand into Eddie’s back pocket and left it there. A normal Thursday night where Buck wasn’t looking over his shoulder and standing up straight and dazzling all the people.</p>
<p>Could it really be that easy?</p>
<p>It couldn’t, could it?</p>
<p>Because even if having Buck beside him felt right--- maybe one of the rightest things Eddie had ever had the pleasure of being able to hold in his arms and cherish--- Buck was still a prince. He was still someone who carried the heavy burden of the three letters, HRH, everywhere he went. He was still someone who deserved someone better than Eddie. Someone who could be brave and face the music of his feelings. Someone who wasn’t a little messed up himself and holding together the pieces of his life by the skin of his teeth just so his son could have a better life.</p>
<p>Buck deserved so much more than Eddie.</p>
<p>Buck’s pinky latched onto two of Eddie’s fingers and pulled him out of his funk with a small tug on his hand.</p>
<p>Eddie blinked. Hen and Chim were busy loudly arguing about Hen’s betrayal and Chim’s lack of skill at the pool table and seemingly oblivious to Eddie’s internal spiral. Buck smiled at him from beneath his hat, small but unguarded, as he pulled Eddie into a quiet corner by the emergency exit, and propped him against the wall. Buck’s hands were warm against Eddie’s face and like a glutton for punishment, Eddie leaned into them.</p>
<p>“Thank you for letting me stay,” Buck said, quietly and it was astounding how attuned Eddie was to Buck’s every inhalation that he could hear the whisper over the thumping of the music.</p>
<p>Eddie curled a hand around Buck’s wrist and pressed a kiss against his palm.</p>
<p>“I didn’t let you do anything,” Eddie grumbled because Buck sneaking out was still one of the worst ideas Eddie had ever heard.</p>
<p>Buck leaned in, his body one long line of hot flesh and muscle against Eddie, before he peppered a kiss against Eddie’s cheekbone.</p>
<p>“I’m having fun,” Buck admitted.</p>
<p>And Eddie wasn’t going to begrudge Buck that.</p>
<p>“But…” Buck drew the word out as he dipped his head to press an even softer, teasing kiss against Eddie’s lips. “We can leave if you want.”</p>
<p>The implication was there. Buck was offering Eddie one last chance to have a repeat of that night after the State Dinner where Buck was his and his alone and Eddie could pretend a little longer that he was enough. That Eddie Diaz was enough.</p>
<p>Eddie pressed up into the kiss and licked out one of those gasps he’ll never forget before he broke away.</p>
<p>“We have to get everyone another round then we can go.”</p>
<p>Even in the shadows of their private oasis, Eddie could see the uptick of Buck’s smile as if he was a bright light in an otherwise numb darkness.</p>
<p>“I’ll go order,” Buck said. “You go make our excuses.”</p>
<p>Buck leaned down and pressed another quick kiss against him before he disappeared to head to the bar.</p>
<p>Judd and Grace were sitting at their table with Hen and Chimney when Buck and Eddie emerged back into the world from their private bubble.</p>
<p>“Next round is on us,” Eddie said. “Then I’m taking Buck back to the Residence and heading home.”</p>
<p>“It’s cute that you still pretend we don’t know you two are hooking up, Eddie,” Hen said with a tilt of her head.</p>
<p>Eddie didn’t dignify that with a response and turned his attention to Judd.</p>
<p>“I…” Eddie started and then stopped when he didn’t know how to justify what Judd knew now.</p>
<p>Judd rolled his eyes. “You do realize I met the love of my life while on loan as a protection detail for her daddy back when he was governor, right?”</p>
<p>And no, Eddie hadn’t known that but that was different.</p>
<p>“And my father still hasn’t forgiven him for it,” Grace said with a smile as Judd pressed a kiss to her hair.</p>
<p>“Look, Eddie,” Chim said. “We don’t care. You’re good for Buck.”</p>
<p>Hen nodded her agreement and then shooed him with her hand.</p>
<p>“Stop brooding and go do whatever you and Prince Charming do when you think no one is looking.”</p>
<p>Heat pooled into Eddie’s face as he turned around and walked away before he could be embarrassed any further.</p>
<p>And maybe… Maybe, they were right.</p>
<p>Maybe Eddie was putting a hard stop on something that hadn’t even begun. Maybe Eddie… Maybe Eddie could be enough for someone like Buck.</p>
<p>But Buck was still leaving and Eddie was already in too deep to know that, that departure was going to destroy him.</p>
<p>But that was tomorrow’s problem.</p>
<p>Eddie cleared through the crowd and spotted Buck leaning up against the bar in his ridiculous baseball cap and magnetic entirety that had moths circling him like a flame; like a jewel in a glass case on display.</p>
<p>A man was plastered up against Buck’s side and talking his ear off as Buck nodded politely. Buck stepped away from the man, trying to shake off his interests but with little success.</p>
<p>The man reached out, eyes transfixed on the spot on Buck’s brow where his birthmark peaked out from beneath his cap, but Buck dodged away from his hand and shook his head. </p>
<p>Not getting the hint, apparently, the man pushed further into Buck’s space, arching into what little was left between them so he could box Buck in as he slid his hand down the mound of Buck’s butt and <em>squeezed</em>. </p>
<p>Buck flinched and Eddie was moving before he could even blink. </p>
<p>“You mind taking your hand off of him?” </p>
<p>The guy startled at Eddie’s crashing interruption and dropped his hand, before he sized Eddie up like he was competition. But there was no competition when Buck wasn’t interested. </p>
<p>And Buck was very obviously, entirely uninterested.</p>
<p>Eddie angled himself between them and felt Buck’s fingers curl around his belt loop at his back. </p>
<p>“Fuck off, man,” the guy said with a flick of his hand. </p>
<p>He reached out for Buck and Eddie pushed himself the rest of the way between the two of them and blocked Buck from his reach. </p>
<p>“Not going to happen. Go find someone else to bother.”</p>
<p>“Why don’t you mind your own business asshole?”</p>
<p>“Actually, it is his business,” Buck quipped from behind Eddie. “And I’d appreciate you keeping your hands to yourself.”</p>
<p>The guy squared up into his full height, aggression and testosterone rolling off him in waves that it was a miracle anyone around him wasn’t sick from the fumes of his bullshit. Eddie matched his stance with one of his own, itching to fight but not when Buck was in range of getting caught up in the middle.  </p>
<p>Buck took Eddie’s hand and tugged on him until Eddie gave in and allowed himself to be pulled back. </p>
<p>They turned and Eddie slung his arm around Buck’s waist to pull him close. </p>
<p>“I think that’s enough for you—“</p>
<p>Buck jerked out of Eddie’s arm with a choked, surprised, <em>pained </em>yelp. </p>
<p>“I wasn’t done talking to you, you little slut!” The man spat, his hand wrapped tight around Buck’s wrist as he pulled Buck into his chest. </p>
<p>Buck pushed him away, yanking his arm free, and Eddie’s fist landed in the square plane of his jaw, sending the guy tumbling to the floor and out cold. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't know if this is still a thing but you can find me on tumblr now with my penname!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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